the pause legacy: ch. 27: the kid is not my son

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Slide 1:

Last time!!! Kavalee got old, Jacqui decided she would make a fantastic Grim Reaper, Mallorie and VJ went back in time and created Evan ♥, the family got a simbot before realising he sucked and kicked him out soon after and Coil and Brodie finally got married. NEXT!

Slide 2:

Coil’s face = receiving news that Brodie is pregnant.

Slide 3:

Brodie: “So is this a bad time to tell you that I dislike children.”

Slide 4:

Coil: “Hello little Brodie. I am you daddy! Did you want me to sing to you? ♫ Woooooooah oh, Sweet child of miiiiiiine ♫.”

Slide 5:

Coil: “Sorry did you just say something?”

Slide 6:

The relationship between Amir and Thornton finally reached breaking point. I assume their last conversation went as followed: Thornton: “You will wear this green flannelette suit and you will like it!” Amir: “You will wear a suit of your own blood!” *clocks Thornton* Amir now lives on his own in what I can only assume is a house that Amir killed an old lady for. But there is even worse news!

Slide 7:

He barely looks anything like Kavalee :( Check out that bulbous nose.

Slide 8:

Amir: “Hey ladyfro . I’m looking for Kavalee.” Dawn: “He hasn’t lived here in ages. Get your facts right. Don’t come knocking on my door just because my brother owes you money.”

Slide 9:

Amir: “I will burn this house to the ground.”

Slide 10:

And then obviously nothing else happened for three days because the next picture is this one.

Slide 11:

Little Huxley Pause :D

Slide 12:

Blue hair!!!! Yay ! But ALL of Brodie’s features....not so good.

Slide 13:

Coil: “Little Huxley, come to Daddy. I love you so much, much, much!”

Slide 14:

Huxley: “I like your hair.”

Slide 15:

Pauline: “So how old are you now? 110? The Grim Reaper must want to put a scythe in your back pretty badly.”

Slide 16:

Jacqui: “ Pffft , yeah right. No one’s putting me in some urn. I’m going to live forever.” At this point, I’m tempted to believe her.

Slide 17:

Brodie: “Hmmm baby’s aren’t so bad when they don’t need me for anything. Oh god, is he waking up?! Run Brodie, run!”

Slide 18:

Brodie: “Phew, dodged a bullet there. I nearly had to tend to him.”

Slide 19:

Dawww ! Look at him from this angle. I can’t see any of Brodie’s genetics.

Slide 20:

Dawn: “You mean I have to feed you again? And carry you?! When do you finally start looking after yourself? I need to more grandchildren like Evan.”

Slide 21:

Coil: “Brodie and Huxley are so great aren’t they. Don’t you want to get married someday Evan?” Evan: “Pass. My heart’s already been broken by the woman I loved. I can’t have that happen again.” Coil: “Widen you gaze. Just go out and find someone who’s not related to you. It’s a lot easier than you think.” Evan: “I dunno. I still don’t understand the point of families being close if you’re not eventually going to marry one of them.”

Slide 22:

Coil: “Because it’s exciting! You get married and have children, and when your newborn baby looks into your eyes for the first time, your life will be complete.” Evan: “Really? That sounds ideal. Why waste my time courting and impregnating when there’s a perfectly good baby that can complete my life right now.”

Slide 23:

Evan: “Nothing happening so far. When are you going to get around to completing my life Huxley?” Huxley: “Please, I no love you. You get me someone with blue hair. Now.”

Slide 24:

Peter: “ Grandaddy has all the time in the world for hugs.” Huxley: “This much betta .”

Slide 25:

I am gobsmacked! Did Kavalee just catch a deathfish the size of a car? Who knew there was such profit to be made in private fishing ventures.

Slide 26:

Things are finally looking up for Kavalee. He’s got 280 grand, a sweet young thang named Sondra...

Slide 27:

And a cute little boy called Antwon . If only there was something to make his life complete..........*poor foreshadowing*

Slide 28:

Kavalee: “Amir? What a pleasant surprise.”

Slide 29:

Amir: ”You may have heard that I have been forced to run away from home and I just came to tell you not to worry about me. But now I see you have the perfect house and family you’ve always wanted and don’t need that extra pesky son anymore. I’ll just be on my way then. Back to my lonely dark house with nothing in the world except the clothes on my back and a house full of some dead old lady’s furniture.”

Slide 30:

Kavalee: “Don’t try and use that manipulative wordplay on me. You learnt it from the person that raised me remember. You know very well I would love to have you move in with us. Besides, you and Antwon have a lot more in common than you think.” Amir: “Huh?”

Slide 31:

Kavalee: “The reason no one knows about Antwon is because he and I have a secret. A little secret that we don’t want your grandmother to find out about and intervene. Antwon : “Daddy and Anty’s widdle evil secwet .”

Slide 32:

Amir: “You’re joking?! You mean Antwon is evil, just like me?”

Slide 33:

Yes, he was. Antwon : “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”

Slide 34:

Amir: “Well obviously you need help raising the demon child. I guess I could stay for a while.” Kavalee: “I’m so happy! Come here and give me a hug.” Amir: “It will be the last thing you ever do.”

Slide 35:

Kavalee: “I don’t care. This hug has been waiting your whole life. I may never let go.” Amir: “Oh god, it burns!”

Slide 36:

Amir: “So I have an evil-half brother do I? Your cuteness may come in handy.” Antwon : “Let’s go commit heinous cwime together!”

Slide 37:

Gah ! Strange man! Put down the baby. Oh wait, Peter just got old.

Slide 38:

Huxley: “I don’t want you to carry me anymore.”

Slide 39:

Jacqui: “I have a hug with Huxley’s name all over it.” Huxley: “Hugs! Blue hugs!”

Slide 40:

Jacqui: “Sucker! I can’t believe how many generations that line has worked.”

Slide 41:

Huxley: “ *GASP* SHE. TOOK. MY. CANDY!?”

Slide 42:

Brodie reveals she is pregnant for the second time. Brodie: “This is a little late coming, be never really talked about how many children we actually wanted.”

Slide 43:

Coil: “You know, the normal amount. Six or ten maybe.” Brodie: “Yes, because if you had asked me beforehand, I would have probably said around zero.”

Slide 44:

Peter: “Phew, bringing that child downstairs was hard work. I’m in need of a little doze.” Huxley: “ Grandaddy , I’m hungry and need to potty.”

Slide 45:

Huxley: “I don’t need to potty anymore, but I’m still hungry!”

Slide 46:

Coil: “By the ghost of my great-great grandfather. You just scared my son so much he pooped his pants.” Jude: “I take no responsibility for how my sheer awesomeness affects babies.”

Slide 47:

Coil: “Oh my poor widdle baby Huxley. Did that mean ole ghosty scare you? Daddy will keep you safe.”

Slide 48:

Huxley: “My nappy is full of poop and I’m still hungry.”

Slide 49:

Dawn gets her old on. Dawn: “ Ew , what is this green thing on my finger?”

Slide 50:

Yes, WHAT IS THAT?!

Slide 51:

Jacqui: “Isn’t it funny how I am your mother yet I look so much younger and hotter than you.”

Slide 52:

Dawn: “You really didn’t have to call attention to it.” Jacqui: “Yes I’m pretty sure I did.”

Slide 53:

Huxley: “We meet again. Just try and find my candy this time.” Jacqui: “Challenge accepted.”

Slide 54:

Jacqui: “By the looks of your clothes, you must be full of candy. Let me toss you in the air. I’m definitely just playing and in no way trying to shake the candy out of you.”

Slide 55:

Jacqui: “Better luck next time kiddo.”

Slide 56:

Huxley: “SHE DID IT AGAIN!”

Slide 57:

Jacqueline must be looking extremely good for her age, because this young man couldn’t take his eyes off her.

Slide 58:

Plaid: “I find the beauty of older women quite intoxicating.” Jacqui: “Well maybe we should get out of this stuffy store and go back to my place...”

Slide 59:

Plaid: Oh man I am so about to get laid. Jacqui: I cannot wait to see the look on his face when I reveal how old I really am.

Slide 60:

Back at home, Brodie was being ignored and going into labour.

Slide 61:

Jacqui: “You can’t go into labour now! I have a young man coming home and he’ll know I’m a great grandmother. And he can’t find out how old I really am until after I have slept with him!”

Slide 62:

It’s a boy, Miles Pause. I do not know where the hair colour comes from.

Slide 63:

Peter: “Finally, a child who cannot gloat about their mane of blue hair.” Miles: “Blue hair? That’s ridiculous.”

Slide 64:

It’s Evan birthday! Please stay as wonderful as you are now.

Slide 65:

*Gushes* I just love him so much!!! Evan! Why aren’t you the heir!?

Slide 66:

His medieval clothes weren’t available for Young Adult so I let him keep his default clothes. They rock hard!!!

Slide 67:

With the birth of Miles, there were now eight people in the household and, unfortunately for Brodie, I want more little Coils. So I had to make the difficult choice of either kicking out Evan or kicking out Dawn and Peter. So you know, on your bikes old fogeys.

Slide 68:

Jacqui: “Hmmm, does this mean if I shake you I can get a sweet new ride?”

Slide 69:

Brodie: “The newspaper boy keeps throwing the paper at the ground instead of placing it gently. What should I do if Huxley and Miles start displaying such erratic behaviour?” Jacqui: “The will to live. It’s leaving my body. You have discovered my one weakness!”

Slide 70:

Jacqui: “And I die.” Night, night Jacqui.

Slide 71:

Jacqui’s one weakness was boring conversation!

Slide 72:

Evan is now a young adult, and like all young adults, he needs to find someone to fall in love with and have little babies with...who is not related to him. Evan: “What about that lady over there? She already comes pre-impregnated.” No! I’m not going there ever again.

Slide 73:

Elaina: “What about me? My heats throbs deeply at the sight of that fine young man.” Elaina is the sister of Malcolm Landgraab . So with that in mind, a big fat NO is in order.

Slide 74:

Elaina: “Why not! What could you possibly have against the love of two innocent, young, beautiful people?” Now Elaina, I don’t mean to insult you......but have you look in the mirror lately, or at all?

Slide 75:

Elaina: “Why? Is there something on my face.” It’s more of a lack of something on your face that’s the problem. Like a bag for instance.

Slide 76:

Why doesn’t anyone want to feed this kid? People, a highchair is not a babysitter. Let’s grow you up so you can at least get your own cereal.

Slide 77:

Oh no! His face is overlapping already. I’m not looking forward to this birthday.

Slide 78:

So for the moment, not too bad. But I had to give him a hairstyle with a fringe as he has a very unfortunate sloping forehead. Also, vehicle enthusiast? Most useless trait ever?! And for a child?!

Slide 79:

Emilio the Gnome: “Huxley, come dance with me amongst the fairies.”

Slide 80:

Huxley: “Stupid gnome, thinks he can confuse my knowledge of reality. I know garden gnomes don’t really talk. Who does he think he’s talking to. Fairies? Maybe if they were driving monster trucks.” It’s so cute when grumpy child sims grumble to themselves XD

Slide 81:

Huxley: “Mum, I don’t like sharing a room with a smelly baby brother. He woke me up 10 minutes before my alarm was set to go off. Don’t you know how infuriating that is!”

Slide 82:

Brodie: “Yeah well, I’m pregnant again. So get used to it.”

Slide 83:

Huxley: “*sigh* I did not agree to be the oldest of more snivelling babies.”

Slide 84:

Evan heads to the park again. Eats a hamburger, but finds no ladies. Elaina: “Oh hi Evan, fancy running into you at this part of the park AGAIN! It must be fate or something....” Get lost Elaina. I will not let you become another Shan!

Slide 85:

Evan: “I NEED SOMEBODY TO LOVE MEEEEEEEE!”

Slide 86:

Huxley: “HE NEEDS SOMEBODY TO LOVE HIIIIIIIIM!”

Slide 87:

Before this chapter ends I am enlisting the help of you guys to find me a suitable girlfriend for Evan. My neighbourhood is full of Landgraab , Bunch and Wan children ( brrrr ), and the boring default pudding face clones. I would prefer a comedic look over pretty and bland, and bonus points if they are also a time travel baby. But why would your sim choose Evan as that special someone? Well as you can see he is very good at posing and looking disinterested.

Slide 88:

He also has commitment issues and he wears cow print pyjamas. (Plus or minus depending on your taste)

Slide 89:

And one last gesture to make the sale. Prepare....for the smoulder.

Slide 90:

*smoulder*