Kimmy Hell Apocalypse 1

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Slide 1: 

Kimmy Hell – An Apocalypse Chapter 1 By Mzyra The College before the Storm

Slide 2: 

Kimmy’s mind gradually started up again, and it took a second to remember who she was. She became aware that she was lying down on something hard, probably the ground, and she forced her eyelids together more as the strong sunlight managed to infiltrate through. What had she been doing?

Slide 3: 

She eventually opened her eyes and tried not to be blinded by the Sun. “Ahhh, my head… Where the hell am I?” Hell – that’s where you are, something in her memory told her, but she didn’t remember being told that… The last thing she remembered… Oh, that blonde woman in that bar. She’d drugged her! And she’d been talking about something… An apocalypse? “Hang on, what the heck am I wearing?!” You have no control over what you wear, her memory informed her again. When had she been told that?! Oh well, she guessed it could have been worse…

Slide 4: 

She managed to stand up and see where she was in ‘Hell’. It reminded her of when Sean went to university… She was on a university campus. As a student? Hang on, aren’t I meant to be being punished for something? she wondered. How is university a punishment? Even if I do have to wear these stupid trousers… Regardless, she figured she might as well grab a good room before all the best ones were taken.

Slide 5: 

She picked one of the biggest ones with a desk of her own, since for some reason she wasn’t able to use a dresser*. She liked that the door got her picture on it after she chose it, she just wondered whether she should have pulled a meaner face to scare people off. It was really weird not being in Simfield though. She didn’t know anybody, she was completely alone… It was kind of lonely. (* I am aware that the restrictions don’t actually start until she leaves university, I’m just being mean here  )

Slide 6: 

Ah, forget them all, she thought resolutely. Who needs family members when you have grilled cheese whenever you want it? And to prove herself, she conjured grilled cheese out of thin air. See? Perfection! Now she’d just have to wait and see who she’d be stuck in a dorm with for the next eight semesters…

Slide 7: 

And declare a major. You want something to do with the Military, her memory informed her. That was odd – why the military? She guessed it would be fun to lead a whole military unit… Actually, that would be freaking awesome, she was definitely up for that. “Hi, yeah, what majors do you have? Ummm… Biology? ‘Kay, great.” Biology was useful for the Military, wasn’t it?* (*For those of you wondering why I put her in Biology when she’s meant to be lifting Military: I honestly have no idea what I was thinking, or whether it was accidental, But it’s too late now!)

Slide 8: 

And so she headed off uncertainly to her first ever university lecture. It was weird; she’d never really been a formal education kind of person, but if Sean could do it, she definitely could. Hell, she was going to do better than he did! …Was there a grade above a 4.0…? Ah, whatever, Biology’s harder than Literature anyway, so it should count for more.

Slide 9: 

The class wasn’t that hard – and equally wasn’t that interesting – and she was back at the dorm quickly enough, kind of at a loss to do, before her memory kicked in again: you want to skill and make friends for your future job, and find a husband. Friends?! What did she want friends for?! And a husband?! Ugh, no thanks, been there, done that, got murdered for my troubles. So she went to skilling instead. You want to build mechanical, charisma and body skill, her memory continued. What? All of those sound boring. I’m going to do something slightly more fun than that. So she went to the chess board.* (*Okay, to be honest, I could have sworn you needed logic for the military. Seriously, no brain power for making military decisions?! Anyway, I didn’t realise until the final semester… *facepalm* Maybe this was why I picked biology?)

Slide 10: 

Other people did have friendship on their minds, but they quickly learnt better. “Oh my god – is that your mum chatting up your best friend?!” “What?! Where?!”

Slide 11: 

“Hey! My Mum’s not here! And she wouldn’t do that anyway!” “That’s not what I’ve heard… And why did you look if you claim to know that?” “I- You- You took me by surprise! You know what, I don’t want to play with you anymore!” “Good! I didn’t want to have to look at you anyway!” And she got to play alone for the rest of the afternoon.

Slide 12: 

Eventually Kimmy did acquiesce to studying some mechanical skill, because she didn’t want to go and get herself electrocuted after all, so she might as well. And nobody tried to talk to her while she was reading, though that may have had more to do with the rumours spreading about her, not that she cared.

Slide 13: 

And then eventually she went to bed. She really was beginning to enjoy being left alone, especially with the knowledge that there were people around that she could pick on if and when she wanted to, but equally she could avoid everybody if she wanted to. It was great.

Slide 14: 

The next day meant charisma building. Talking at a reflection of herself wasn’t always that interesting, but she livened it up by talking instead at the reflections of the students behind her and insulting each of them in turn. “Seriously, a bowl cut? Can’t you afford to go to a proper hairdresser’s? You look like a prat! And don’t think I’ve forgotten you, red head, you can’t hide behind that book for the rest of my university years. And I don’t know you yet, brunette girl, but when I do…Ooooh, you’ll wish I didn’t!”

Slide 15: 

And all of that was followed up by some good, old-fashioned skipping, which was surprisingly good fun, she had to admit. Especially since she was blocking off a whole corridor for anybody who didn’t want to get ‘accidentally’ whacked over the head with a rope. She loved how wary all the dormies seemed to be of her though, it was great fun.

Slide 16: 

Not everyone was so easily intimidated though. “Oh, you think you’re really tough? Think you’re the bad guy around here? Trust me, little girl, you haven’t got anything on me.” “Did you just poke me?” she asked disbelievingly. Nobody ever poked her. She wondered whether she ought to make a rule whereby nobody ever poked her and lived to tell. “Yeah, I did. And I could do a lot more if I didn’t think it’d make you cry. Don’t think you’re so tough, girl.” “I’m not the one in a freaking cow suit, weirdo!” she shouted after him(?) as he wandered away. What a freak. If I ever see him again…

Slide 17: 

She was also being bothered in a different way by one of her lecturers, who for some reason kept calling her. God only knew why… “Uh huh… Uh huh... Yeah... Sure…” God, if you weren’t in charge of my grades I could so tell you where to go right now. “Uh huh. Wow, really? Uh huh. Well, as fascinating as all that is, I really have to get to work on that term paper… Uh huh. No, no, really I have to go… Yeah, sure. If you must, but I’ve uh, got to go to the… dentist’s tomorrow, so I don’t know- Okay, bye!” That woman really needed to get a life! But at least she gives me good grades…

Slide 18: 

And this was when Kimmy really started to get annoyed with university life. “You’re in my bed.” “Oh, sorry, your room’s right next door to mind, must have stumbled in the wrong door.” “The doors have our pictures on them. Are you blind?” “No, just tired.” “Maybe if I were to take your eyes out with a fork they’d give you a guide dog who can see better.” The guy looked up at her for a few moments. “Ooookay, I’m gonna go…”

Slide 19: 

The problem was that, although the rumours had apparently circulated about how mean she was, people seemed to have gotten over it. People even came to play chess with her and obligingly looked away when she cheated. She wouldn’t have minded so much, except after the first few times she wondered whether she was being patronised – she didn’t like that idea. She wondered whether it was that stupid cow mascot’s fault, showing that fighting back didn’t end the world. Regardless, people just didn’t seem so scared.

Slide 20: 

The cow mascot even had the nerve to call her! She didn’t even know how he’d gotten her number… “You given up yet, girly?” “Look, I don’t know who the hell you think you are, cow-boy – or are you a girl, you seem pretty effeminate – but you don’t know who you’re messing with here. And if I ever see your stupid mascot face on my turf again, you’re gonna find those horns you have rammed up somewhere extremely uncomfortable, got it?” The guy just laughed as he hung up the phone. Bastard, she thought.

Slide 21: 

Oh F. F. S! “You’re in my bed again. I believe I warned you about what might happen before.” “You don’t have a fork and nobody can just go around blinding people like that.” Kimmy opened her mouth but faltered at the challenge. “Exactly, you’re all talk. Sorry I used your bed, but it’s the middle of the day, I figured you wouldn’t be using it and your bed’s a lot comfier than mine. It’s not a big deal.” “It is a big deal!” she protested. “Okay, okay, I won’t do it again. Sheesh.” …FFS! This will not stand! I will get you, bowl-cut dormie!

Slide 22: 

Brooding out of the window about people not knowing their place nowadays, Kimmy spotted a gypsy creeping on and then off the lot. Investigating downstairs, she came across a big, shiny, golden lamp. “Maybe I can use this to hit bowl-cut dormie over the head until he fears me properly…” she wondered.

Slide 23: 

Then a purple man appeared. “Kimmy Ryman! You have released me from my lamp! I reward you with three wishes!” “One question: does causing several people severe pain count as one wish, or is it one wish per person’s suffering?” “Er, that’s not a wish I can fulfil, I’m afraid.” “Then what use are you to me?!” “I can make you extremely attractive to every straight man and gay woman?” “Hmm… I guess that is a kind of power. Okay, go for it.”

Slide 24: 

Kimmy couldn’t notice any difference when the genie was finished, so she went to vent her frustration in term paper form. “Okay, title: Why I’m Biologically Better Than Everybody Else, and Therefore Why Everyone Else Should Submit to My Will. Point 1: I have the ability to instinctively tell that bowl haircuts look ridiculous and to tell pictures of completely different people apart. Point 2: I don’t wear a freaking cow suit around university. Point 3: I don’t call people who blatantly don’t want to talk to me and then talk for hours on end until the other person wants to smash their brains out against a wall- Ooh, maybe I can try and use that against bowl-cut next time.”

Slide 25: 

In total, university had just become an endless list of annoyances for Kimmy. “Why do I have to pay the bills for the whole freaking dorm?!”

Slide 26: 

For god’s sake, why are there people running around naked? Don’t they have any shame? “Get the hell away from me before I hit you with my skipping rope.” The woman ran away, but was laughing as she did it, as Kimmy grit her teeth irritably.

Slide 27: 

The only thing that was keeping her going through the endless skilling and annoyances was her endless supply of grilled cheese at her fingertips.

Slide 28: 

In fact, that day in particular, the gooey sandwich felt far more fulfilling than it ever had before, and that was saying something. She thought about making another, before her memory started saying things again. You should go outside now. Curious, she obliged.

Slide 29: 

You should use that machine, it told her. Why, what does it do? she wondered. You are to change your aspiration. Change my aspiration?! Why? I like my aspiration… There’s no grilled cheese where you’re going. “WHAT?!” she said out loud, not caring who might hear. “No way, I didn’t sign up for that! I refuse!”

Slide 30: 

You can’t refuse. You never signed up for anything. You don’t get a choice. And suddenly Kimmy wasn’t in control. She tried to fight it, but her hands reached out and grabbed the handles and she put her head inside as the machine started to whirr around her. I DON’T WANT TO! she shouted internally. The memory voice ignored her. Knowledge.

Slide 31: 

She didn’t regain proper control until the process was finished. She guessed it could have been worse – she could have been family orientated, and at least knowledge had kind of been her secondary aspiration, but seriously… What the f--- had that been? How could something or someone just do that? What else could it make her do? She tried to stop the slight trembling she had, but that had been deeply unnerving. Don’t think of trying to undo it, the ‘memory’ voice continued, it won’t work. You have other things to do: skills, friends, husband – or, at least, babydaddy. I don’t know who you are or were, but I hate you. I’ll get you for this. She would like to see you try, and she knows.

Slide 32: 

Kimmy stewed over that for the rest of that semester. ‘She’ was almost certainly that blonde woman, but Kimmy didn’t know anything about her, or where to find her to kick her ass. She would get her eventually though. Deprived of a target for her anger, it eventually receded and Kimmy was left rather depressed, especially at meal times; the chef never made grilled cheese and she couldn’t magic it up anymore. Maybe it was for the best, maybe it wouldn’t give her the same pleasure it used to anyway. And eating meals meant she had to spend time with people too. And, with the anger, she hated everyone even more than she had.

Slide 33: 

She resigned herself to having to do the stuff she was told though; if she didn’t, she’d probably have her control taken away again and get forced to. At least if she did it now, she’d get choice about the details. So, since she’d gathered a fair amount of money from her wonderful GPA (from hours of listening to her lonely old professor on the phone while she hit her head against the wall in frustration), she called up the gypsy matchmaker to get the best possible partner for her.

Slide 34: 

“I need my perfect man. He needs to be clean-” “Ah, worry ye not, young lady, I can tell all and I know exactly who’s perfect for you!” “He better not be wearing a cow mascot uniform. Or have a bowl cut-” “Don’t worry, none of those things!” the old woman laughed. “And if his name is Count Christian Mamuyac tell him he can go straight back to hell. And I mean that as the fire-y burn-y place, not here.” “No, no, you’re going to love this guy.”

Slide 35: 

Kimmy froze up as she heard her ‘perfect guy’s’ voice and what he said, “Argh, that’s not going to be good for my back…” “You know, if you’d let me finish my list of unattractive attributes I’d have told you he couldn’t be old,” she said irritably. “You asked for clean – he’s a butler!” “Yay,” she said sarcastically. “Anyway, believe me, just because a person’s advanced in years it doesn’t mean they can’t do what you want-” “Ugh, spare me your disturbing stories. Now I recommend going away before I hurt you.”

Slide 36: 

Hell, she’d paid $5000 for this guy, she might as well give him a chance, she decided. “Hi, I’m Kimmy Ryman. This is a blind date, if you hadn’t gathered.” “Really? How much did you pay to get me?” “$5000,” she said, sighing slightly. “Wow, so I’m your dream man then?” Kimmy suppressed a shudder. God, I hope not.

Slide 37: 

They chatted for a bit and Kimmy was as polite as she could manage – which was very painful for her – but she figured she could file him under the ‘friends’ category, which was apparently so important now. At least, she did until she discovered his lack of playful points. “I hardly think tickling is appropriate, Miss Ryman! I don’t know what you young people get up to in such establishments, but a butler must retain his dignity and maturity.” “Yeah, you’re plenty mature,” she muttered. “Is there anything fun butlers are allowed to do?”

Slide 38: 

When he suggested a game of catch, Kimmy smiled pleasantly on the outside, but maliciously on the inside. Big mistake you uptight old git. Especially with how much I’ve been working out…

Slide 39: 

“Miss Ryman, a man could think that you’re trying to hurt him!” “Me? Noooo! I’d never dream of hurting somebody. I suppose it’s just that your muscles and bones are degenerating. We fit young people sometimes forget our strength amongst all of our inappropriate fun…” He left soon after that. They were not friends.

Slide 40: 

She spent most of the rest of the night working out some more so that, if he came back, she’d be able to at least break his wrist. She’d temporarily forgotten how much fun it was being mean to people.

Slide 41: 

“Hello redhead.” “…Uhoh.” “You appear to be in my room. It has my face of the door and only I am allowed in. Did you forget this?” “It- I- I just wanted to quickly finish this assignment and the other desks were taken-” “So you should sit on the floor somewhere that isn’t my room. Do you know what I’ll do if you do this again?” “Uh, no, don’t tell me, I can imagine. Please don’t hurt me – I’ll leave!” At least some people were still scared of her.

Slide 42: 

It was almost like things were back to normal, but for the continued absence of grilled cheese; omelettes just weren’t the same. Every meal time was a depressing reminder of how little control she really had of what was going on. She wished she could remember what she’d been brought here to do, it was making her feel uneasy…

Slide 43: 

For once she found a use for other people; their random and sometimes boring conversations were at least a distraction. “How come you were beating up an old guy out front the other day?” one girl asked. “Huh? Oh, botched blind date. He was a git anyway. I only went on a date because apparently I have to find somebody…” “Hey, if you don’t particularly care about who it is, why not go for your professor? Get some action in with him and even if it doesn’t work out, at least you’ll get better grades.” That wasn’t too bad an idea, she mused…

Slide 44: 

“Miss Ryman! What a surprise to be invited over!” he greeted her jovially. “Professor-!” Oh crap, I’ve forgotten his name! Ah, just continue anyway! “Well, I thought I heard that teacher-student fraternisation wasn’t good, but I recently realised that that was completely ridiculous and you gave such a good lecture yesterday that I thought I should invite you ‘round!” God, all this fake friendliness is making me feel sick. “Ah, well to be honest, I have given that lecture numerous times over the years, just slight tweaks here and there,” he informed her conspiratorially.

Slide 45: 

“Oh, believe me, you couldn’t tell. It just seemed so new and relevant and there’s something about the way you talk out there at the front – it’s like you’re not scripted at all, just a font of really interesting knowledge…” Kimmy wondered whether any of this was even remotely true, but she’d never been awake long enough in any of his lectures to know. “Well, I have heard that I’m one of the best lecturers in the whole university…” “Oh, without a doubt!” Why can’t people tell when people are blatantly lying to them? she wondered.

Slide 46: 

But she continued, though she had to suppress a shudder at what she had to do. “The only problem with your lectures is that sometimes I get too distracted by the person doing the talking, rather than what you’re actually saying…” “Oh really?” he said with a surprised smile. “Mhm – I think you might have to give me some separate tutoring to help me get the message…” “Well, I think there is a distinct possibility that that could happen…”

Slide 47: 

And then it all went a bit wrong. “Ow.” Oh, you did not just f---ing drop me, old man! “Er, um, sorry but, er, what you said about fraternisation is very true and, er, I hurt my back the other day playing squash with Professor Allen,” he claimed unconvincingly. Well I’ve probably just broken my coccyx, you bastard! “Oh. Well you should go then.” “What you were saying about the tutoring could still happen-” he tried. “Yeah, we’ll see,” she said as she walked painfully inside. I swear, if I were still a vampire right now, you would be in a world of pain…

Slide 48: 

And then there was the problem that what had happened wasn’t exactly private. “Soooo… I hear you got rejected by your Professor earlier, huh?” “I wasn’t really interested anyway,” Kimmy replied shortly. “Yeah, I would have figured the Professors would be desperate… Just not desperate enough apparently,” the red-haired girl said with a smirk. Kimmy stopped reading. “Look, if you like your nose the shape it is – though I would be surprised if you did, actually – you’ll shut up before I break it by hitting you in the face with this book.” The girl did shut up, but she didn’t stop smirking.

Slide 49: 

“So, even desperate middle-aged professors won’t date you, huh? Sucks to be you.” Why don’t people understand that I am not someone you want to mess with? At this rate she really was going to have to kill somebody just in order to shut them all up. She just shrugged. “He was a prat,” she shrugged. Hang on. Pratt. Professor Johnson Pratt – that was his name! Apt. “You know, like anybody who thinks that buzz-cuts belong anywhere outside military service.” “Nobody’s scared of your tough-girl act, you know.” “Aren’t they?” she asked. “That’s silly of them.” Then she kicked him in the crotch under the table before walking off and hitting the red-haired girl in the face with a book for before. Learn well, idiots.

Slide 50: 

She just about managed to argue provocation enough that she didn’t get expelled for her actions in a phone call later. She wasn’t exactly enjoying university, but it was pretty cushy and she didn’t want to give it up just yet.

Slide 51: 

And then there was an interesting turn of events. “So, I hear that-” “If this is about my Professor, then my threat about where your horns will go still stands.” “No, no, I was talking about you assaulting several of your dorm-mates. I respect that. I thought you were all talk and no action, but I like the action.” “Who in the hell are you, anyway?” she asked, not getting taken in. “Justus. Justus Oates. And I do believe I like you, Kimmy Ryman. Even if you’re still not as tough as you think,” he said mockingly before walking away. “Yeah well, we’ll see about that!” she called after him. Weirdo.

Slide 52: 

The weirdness continued as Kimmy got a rather apologetic phone call from Professor Pratt, who seemed to have taken her sudden violence to be a reaction to what had happened – which it technically was, but rather because she was in love with him and was therefore in tremendous emotional pain. Are you f---ing serious?! she thought as she listened to him rambling on. I’m embarrassed because I never should have been stooping to your level in the first place, never mind getting turned down, you arrogant prick! She still needed her grades and possibly a husband though, so she didn’t say that, instead just going for some non-committal and hurt-sounding phrases. And swore at him after she’d hung up.

Slide 53: 

She wouldn’t need her grades much longer, though, as she was about to graduate. This did mean some all-nighters and resultant falling asleep in her pancakes, but it’d all be over soon.

Slide 54: 

And then, one night, it was. “Smell the sweet smell of freedom! I’ll never have to do school work again! Take that, blonde woman!”

Slide 55: 

“4.0 in Biology – totally better than Sean, a million times better than Marina, Nicola and Terry. For I am Kimmy Ryman – acknowledge your inferiority now and save yourself years of anguish!” Now she just had to decide on somebody worth her time…

Slide 56: 

“Hey babe,” Justus said, walking straight into her room. “Oh, you did not just call me ‘babe’, cow-boy.” “I think you’ll find I did. Beaten anyone up lately?” Kimmy considered telling him that it was none of his business, but… “Has anybody told you about the time I beat up an old butler with a baseball?” “As a matter of fact they haven’t,” he replied, intrigued. Justus was an interesting possibility, it had to be said. He was mean, and if there was one thing Kimmy had learnt from Christian, it was that having somebody who’d fight your battles for you was a lot less effort. And his not being easy, stupid and taken in by her was kind of attractive…

Slide 57: 

She didn’t have to decide yet though, so for the meantime she continued to skill. Nobody – except maybe Justus – wanted to mess with the girl who could lift her entire body on a single finger, and everybody knew about it.

Slide 58: 

And she loved how nervous everyone got when she joined them at mealtimes. “The fact that this is macaroni and cheese rather than grilled cheese annoys me. You know what else annoys me?” “N-no…” bowl-cut said while plait-tails listened in. “People using the same table I am.” They both moved extremely quickly.

Slide 59: 

Of course, people wanted to mess with her even less, once word got around that she was dating a cow mascot. Everyone had heard what they were like.

Slide 60: 

But the ‘dating’ part wasn’t technically true – Kimmy hadn’t settled yet, and Professor Pratt was eager to make things up to her, so why not? Heck, she wasn’t even certain she’d go for either of them – there’d be plenty of guys left in Hell proper and she had plenty of time with the elixir of life she’d stored, especially since her memory had informed her she couldn’t get married until she’d topped her career, so she could have as many lovers as she liked. In her experience, all men were idiots anyway. And all the women – who weren’t her – too.

Slide 61: 

Her post-graduation stay was absolutely amazing, it had to be said. She could finally tell her female professor how much she hated listening to her drone on, she had time to greet and be mean to hobby people who showed up…

Slide 62: 

She got as physically fit as was possible (all the better for beating people up)…

Slide 63: 

And meal times continued to be great fun. She raised an eyebrow at pink-hat across the table from her. “I-I-I’m not actually touching the table, it doesn’t count!” “You know what else annoys me?” “No,” the girl squeaked in a small voice. “Pink.” Kimmy smiled happily as the girl ran away crying.

Slide 64: 

Not that people didn’t take risks… “This is dangerous, can’t you just do your assignment outside?!” plait-tails hissed at spiky-hair. “No, now keep watching her and warn me if she starts to wake up!” she whispered back. “Fine, but I’m legging it if that happens. And would you hurry up already?” “I’m trying, but this assignment’s hard and the pressure’s not helping!”

Slide 65: 

Kimmy looked up from her book as she smelt something getting closer. “People who smell annoy me. Shower!” she ordered. The guy with red hair sighed and walked back the way he came. “Nice one,” said the cheerleader who Kimmy hadn’t noticed had been sitting next to her. “Cheerleaders annoy me. Go away.” “Or what?” she challenged. “Or I’ll break your nose – just ask red haired girl.” Cheerleader hesitated for a second before sighing and leaving too.

Slide 66: 

And then took her own frustration out on a cow mascot who was definitely not Justus. Because that might have annoyed Kimmy. It was good to be queen.

Slide 67: 

Of course, there’s always somebody more evil than you. “I love my job. Prepare to lose one of your most treasured possessions in the coolest possible method – by having it shot with an absorbing gun. Anyone who gets in my way gets pistol whipped! …I wish more people would get in my way.”

Slide 68: 

The repo man went on to steal a chair with all the excitement and drama of a criminal mastermind lowering his rival into a pool of piranhas. It was universally decided that that guy had issues.

Slide 69: 

The time was ticking down, so Kimmy got an energiser to speed up how long she could keep skilling for. She wished she could keep it for longer.

Slide 70: 

And then she worked on her charisma all night – or, rather, she practised giving orders to her own personal army, as she soon would for real.

Slide 71: 

Eventually the energiser’s effect wore off and she had to sleep. Then, in the middle of the night, she found herself compelled to wake up. It’s apocalypse time, the memory voice came again.

Slide 72: 

But I don’t want to leave, she tried telling it. I like it here. Let me stay? Then a different voice came. Terry didn’t want to die; he liked being alive. I don’t recall that meaning much to you. Oh bloody hell, it was her. And she knew everything, apparently. Are you ever going to let that go? she thought sullenly. Probably not, she admitted. Are you ever going to regret it? I wouldn’t think so, but you tell me!

Slide 73: 

And then Kimmy poofed into her new adult clothes. There was no going back now. At least she could have had worse pyjamas.

Slide 74: 

In fact, she could have had worse everything, but that wasn’t what she was worried about. A freaking apocalypse? What did that mean? She had more than a sneaking suspicion that it couldn’t be good. ~~~End of Chapter 1~~~

Slide 75: 

This picture is of little consequence, except for the fact that I’d like to say adieu to the much under-appreciated shower, which won’t be appearing again for a while. Kimmy may not realise it yet, but she will greatly miss you, Mr Shower. But will she ever stoop to sponge-bathing…?

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