Change Your Attitude, Change Your Marriage

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CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE, CHANGE YOUR MARRIAGE :

CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE, CHANGE YOUR MARRIAGE When we enter into marriage, we enter with lots of expectations and an attitude that all will work well. Note that the expectations we set on our spouses may not necessary be met. We have hence to learn to change our attitude in order to change our marriage. Kigume Karuri Monday, September 10, 2018 1

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Attitudes can make us or break us. If you have been around a spouse with a bad attitude, you will notice that you feel like life is slowly being drained from you. On the other hand, if you are surrounded with a spouse who has a positive attitude, it is like a breath of fresh air . Monday, September 10, 2018 Kigume Karuri 2

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Attitude is what you get after you develop a style of thinking (positive or negative) and then practice it so well that it seems like you don't even have to think it out before you respond . A good attitude will help your marriage succeed. Monday, September 10, 2018 Kigume Karuri 3

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Attitude has to do with the way I choose to think about things. It has to do with one’s focus. Two men looked through prison bars; one saw mud, the other stars. Two people were in a troubled marriage; one cursed, the other prayed. The difference always is attitude. Monday, September 10, 2018 Kigume Karuri 4

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Many times marriages fail, not because of a lack of love, but because spouses do not have a good attitude. They wear each other down with negativity . Don’t allow your mind to dwell on the negatives but also look for the positives. There is always a good side of everything we do in life and especially in marriage. Monday, September 10, 2018 Kigume Karuri 5

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Your attitude has a huge impact on your marriage. A spouse with negative attitude seems to find something wrong, even in good times, while a spouse with positive attitude strives for an attitude of gratitude, even in bad times . Monday, September 10, 2018 Kigume Karuri 6

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Your attitude determines your feelings and actions How you think and what you think about your spouse, will determine your feelings and actions . Negative attitude creates negative responses Monday, September 10, 2018 Kigume Karuri 7

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When you think negative thoughts or expect negative responses, you develop a negative attitude. Having an attitude is like pre-thinking your next response. Monday, September 10, 2018 Kigume Karuri 8

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One of the many areas where an attitude can develop is in how one of you chooses to spend your time. It is common for one person in the couple to complain about the other spending time focused elsewhere e.g. away from spouse or family Monday, September 10, 2018 Kigume Karuri 9

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You could develop an attitude after you've been trying to communicate something of importance and think you haven't been heard . Try to change your attitude, adjust your behavior , and spend more time together, no matter how busy you are . This is an important virtue in all marriages. Monday, September 10, 2018 Kigume Karuri 10

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Change your thinking and your emotions will follow. Erase your negative expectations. As much as possible, meet each other with a clean attitude slate . Expect to enjoy each other and you're more likely to. Monday, September 10, 2018 Kigume Karuri 11

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Taking charge of your relationship in a positive way , and with a positive attitude , can lead you to a marriage that is better than ever . The cost of having a bad attitude is high. Your attitude affects everything in your life. It’s the lens through which you see the world. Monday, September 10, 2018 Kigume Karuri 12

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If a negative attitude is wearing your marriage out, make the intentional decision to change it. Identify your triggers toward negativity. The next time it occurs, try something different. Whenever possible, seek people with great attitudes.  Learn from them. Ask how they keep a good attitude in difficult situations. Monday, September 10, 2018 Kigume Karuri 13

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Each one of us is responsible for his/her own attitude. Your spouse may treat you unkindly, or ignore you, but you are still responsible for choosing your thoughts. The challenge is to have a loving attitude. Love as an attitude is always to seek the well being of the other person. Your first concern must be for your spouse. Monday, September 10, 2018 Kigume Karuri 14

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When you choose the attitude of love, you are asking yourself, “What is best for my spouse in this situation?” Always that means holding your spouse accountable for unacceptable behavior . Monday, September 10, 2018 Kigume Karuri 15

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Focus on how terrible the situation is, and it will get worse. Focus on one positive thing, and another will appear. In the darkest night of a troubled marriage, there is always a flickering light. Focus on that light, and it will eventually flood the room. Monday, September 10, 2018 Kigume Karuri 16

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Maintaining a positive attitude in a troubled marriage may seem impossible, but there is always hope when the couple changes their attitude. A positive attitude can be the salvation of a difficult situation. Monday, September 10, 2018 Kigume Karuri 17

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If you want to know your attitude, look at your words and behavior. If your words are critical and negative, then you have a negative attitude. If your behavior is designed to hurt or get back at your spouse, then you have a negative attitude. Guarding the attitude is the most powerful thing you can to affect your behavior. And, your behavior greatly influences your spouse. Monday, September 10, 2018 Kigume Karuri 18

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Attitudes are so important a s they affect your actions; that is behavior and words. The reality is that I may not be able to control my environment, but I am responsible for what I do within my environment. My attitude will greatly influence my behavior. Monday, September 10, 2018 Kigume Karuri 19

Attitudes Needed in Marriage:

Attitudes Needed in Marriage These attitudes will make a big difference in what happens in your marriage: We call them TAA which means in Kiswahili LAMP. A TAA brings light in the home and light is an important virtue in any marriage. 1. T rust, 2. A ppreciation and 3. A cceptance of differences Monday, September 10, 2018 Kigume Karuri 20

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Trust: Without it no marriage survive Appreciation: Learning to appreciate every thing about your spouse. Acceptance of differences: Men and women don’t think or act the same. Accept the difference. Monday, September 10, 2018 Kigume Karuri 21

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Your attitude is everything in your marriage. If you are expecting and anticipating that your spouse is going to be complaining, that is what you are going to hear more of. Since you are expecting it, it will be what stands out most when your husband or wife speaks to you. Monday, September 10, 2018 Kigume Karuri 22

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A good attitude will help your marriage succeed . Change your attitude, change your marriage. If you are serious about improving your marriage you have to examine your own attitudes and be prepared to make changes. Monday, September 10, 2018 Kigume Karuri 23

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