Change Your Marriage

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Change Your Marriage :

Change Your Marriage The onus of making a better marriage is on both spouses. The couple can change the ways they have been handling their marriage . Tuesday, March 31, 2015 1

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About two weeks ago, I was speaking in a couple’s seminar on the topic of Resolving Conflicts in Marriage. After the session I asked the spouses to stand up and each couple to look at each other eyeball to eyeball for only one minute. Most of the couples could not finish the one minute without looking sideways. Tuesday, March 31, 2015 2

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Secondly I asked them to hug each other and hold tightly for one minute. Some of the couples were unable to complete the minute. Tuesday, March 31, 2015 3

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Lastly I asked each spouse to kiss his/her husband/wife. They did it hurriedly but I insisted that the kiss needs to take longer. This was a new experience to some couples. Tuesday, March 31, 2015 4

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One husband later stood up to thank me and said that he felt so nice kissing his wife as the last kiss he ever had with his wife was on their wedding day. Tuesday, March 31, 2015 5

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These aspects are just a few that we can do to change our marriages and make our marriages enjoyable. You can do things differently. Avoid the monotony of doing things the same way always. Yes you can change your marriage. Tuesday, March 31, 2015 6

Three Important Actions to Take:

Three Important Actions to Take Here are the actions that happily married couples practice to maintain a healthy relationship and bring changes in their marriage: Tuesday, March 31, 2015 7

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1. COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER Happy couples communicate. Outstanding communication helps your marriage weather storms, resolve issues, and stay connected. It deepens intimacy, creates playfulness and fills your relationship with warmth. Tuesday, March 31, 2015 8

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As couples hold open conversations with each other, the results are: Those conversations will be filled with warm, kind, love, caring and supportive words? Tuesday, March 31, 2015 9

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Each spouse wants to be appreciated and normally this is achieved through open communication. Tuesday, March 31, 2015 10

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Are your conversations intimate, deep and personal? Look for issues to talk about that will bring intimacy in the conversation. Intimacy is marriage is key. Tuesday, March 31, 2015 11

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When alone, do you and your spouse talk and enjoy each other’s company or is your time together filled with silence? Tuesday, March 31, 2015 12

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It is a common saying in Kenya that when you see a lady and a gentleman talking much in a vehicle, the conclusion is: That is not a husband and wife. We can change our marriages by improving on our communication. Tuesday, March 31, 2015 13

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If you’re struggling with trying to establish healthy communication, then please go see a marriage counselor to get talking again. You can also learn some skills on communication in marriage Tuesday, March 31, 2015 14

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But if you are communicating well already, then simply focus on communicating better by doing more of the good things that you are already doing Discuss issues and problems as they arise. Don’t hide your feelings. Tuesday, March 31, 2015 15

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Don’t ignore conflict. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t let the conflict worsen the matters at hand. Deal with problems while they are small and easily manageable. Communicate! Communicate! Communicate! Tuesday, March 31, 2015 16

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2. BE COMMITTED Be committed and demonstrate your commitment. Let your spouse know how much he or she means to you. S hare a meaningful “I love you” with them. L et them know how glad you are that they are in your life. Tuesday, March 31, 2015 17

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When was the last time you left a loving card to brighten their day either on the birthday or any other times? Such small acts are signs of commitment. Surprise your spouse with gifts. Tuesday, March 31, 2015 18

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Commitment might sound simple but it is a huge task to be undertaken by both spouses. Creating a safe environment for your spouse in which they feel loved and cared for goes a long way to ease the pressures of daily life; and it keeps you close to each other. Tuesday, March 31, 2015 19

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Note: Never , ever threaten to leave over little things; and be careful about giving ultimatums altogether. Threats and ultimatums diminish trust and once trust is eroded, it is becomes too expensive to be brought back. It takes a longer time to be trusted again. Tuesday, March 31, 2015 20

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3. COMPROMISE Marriage is about give-and-take . You cannot be rigid and expect change in your marriage. Compromise is key to happy marriages. Compromise! Compromise! Compromise! Don’t let your ego rule. Strive for balance. Tuesday, March 31, 2015 21

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Each of us has wants, hopes and dreams, and both of us should be allowed to pursue them – and you should support each other in the pursuit of happiness. Tuesday, March 31, 2015 22

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Love doesn’t seek to coerce, manipulate, or dominate. It gives, serves, and supports in an attitude of charity, warmth and kindness. Happy couples who have marriages that last for a lifetime have learned the precious habit of compromise. Tuesday, March 31, 2015 23

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Lets action and perfect our marriages. Communicate , express your commitment, and be willing and  happy  to compromise. Do these three things for a happy and long lasting marriage.   Tuesday, March 31, 2015 24

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Yes you can change your marriage. Do something about it instead of whining and complaining. All of us should look for ways and means of changing our marriages for the better. Yes we can. Tuesday, March 31, 2015 25

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