What Destroys A Marriage?

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Our marriages must stand. It is good to know and be aware of what can destroy them.

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What Destroys A Marriage? :

What Destroys A Marriage? 9 August 2012 1

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9 August 2012 2 "Making love with a woman and sleeping with a woman are two separate passions, not merely different but opposite.

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9 August 2012 3 Love does not make itself felt in the desire for copulation (a desire that extends to an infinite number of women) but in the desire for shared sleep (a desire limited to one woman)." Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being

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9 August 2012 4 Who is really to blame when a marriage collapses under the unbearable weight of what is normally an otherwise inconsequential extra-marital affair?

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9 August 2012 5 Are we justified in blaming the normally middle-aged man, who should have controlled himself? Why would he risk so much for so little?

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9 August 2012 6 Why do men have such overwhelming hunger for variety in their sexual partners-not just at mid-life, but always?

Porn destroys ideals, marriage:

Porn destroys ideals, marriage 9 August 2012 7 Pornography has twisted our views of sexuality and ripped apart marriages and families. Pornography degrades women, showing them as submissive sexual objects.

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9 August 2012 8 Pornography destroys marriages. The negative effects of pornography go on. Pornography twists the good and natural human desire for sex.

Overcome Resentment in a Marriage Before it Destroys Your Relationship :

Overcome Resentment in a Marriage Before it Destroys Your Relationship 9 August 2012 9 Make no mistake about it, resentment is a marriage killer. Holding onto resentment makes a healthy, happy marriage impossible. You cannot feel love while being resentful. Real intimacy is not possible while holding on to resentment.

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9 August 2012 10 The more resentment you have, the more negative your feelings will be toward your spouse. In order to have a successful, healthy relationship, you must learn to overcome your resentment toward your spouse.

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9 August 2012 11 If you do not find a way to get rid of the negative feelings, you risk having your marriage fail. Let's look at what causes resentment in the first place and at what needs to be done to overcome resentment in a marriage.

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9 August 2012 12 The danger to a marriage occurs when resentment builds each time there is conflict or disagreement. How does resentment build? Any time small problems are ignored and larger issues are avoided, resentment will build.

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9 August 2012 13 Unresolved problems and not being able to reach an agreement, (even if that means agreeing to disagree) when conflict arises is the biggest cause of resentment in a marriage.

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9 August 2012 14 Feelings of being taken for granted or of being unappreciated can also cause resentment. When resentment builds, your negative feelings toward your spouse grow to the point that is hard to look at them in any way, except negatively.

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9 August 2012 15 Lack of communication is a huge factor contributing to resentment. If something is bothering you and you don't speak up, you are only adding to the problem.

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9 August 2012 16 You must identify the issues and openly and honestly discuss them. Approach the issues with an open mind and try to see your spouse’s point of view.

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9 August 2012 17 If the real issues are not resolved, resentment will build and you will find yourself resenting everything your spouse does from the way they cook food to the way they dress, etc.

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9 August 2012 18 Negative feelings caused by resentment affect not only your spouse but they also affect you. It doesn't matter how happy a person you normally are, holding onto resentment takes away your joy in living making you bitter.

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9 August 2012 19 It changes how you interact with your spouse and with others, causing you to only see the bad and never see the good that is surely there.

Anger Destroys Intimacy:

Anger Destroys Intimacy 9 August 2012 20 Anger is a natural emotion. We all feel it at times. It is not something to repress or ignore. Anger is a warning sign that something is not right; that something is bothering you or even harming you.

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9 August 2012 21 It is an emotion created through evolution to protect us or protect our species. However, anger is also based on how we perceive a situation not necessarily the reality of what is occurring.

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9 August 2012 22 Anger is also a toxic emotion. If anger remains in your system it is destructive to your physical as well as emotional and spiritual self. Hence, anger is an emotion with which one needs to deal!

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9 August 2012 23 Anger becomes a tool for power, control, and demands, destroying communication, love, respect and compassion. What do we do when we feel anger?

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9 August 2012 24 We take some deep breaths and acknowledge our anger to ourselves. We consciously notice the emotion. We allow ourselves to feel it.

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9 August 2012 25 We do not repress or ignore anger; we do not pretend it does not exist. These common (among women particularly) techniques only keep the anger inside and often show up as disrespect, depression, detachment, or disgust.

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9 August 2012 26 It is important to experience the anger if that is what you are feeling, then to release it rather than stock it down inside only to have it re-emerge often and in more subversive ways.

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9 August 2012 27 The most important key to managing anger is to not let the emotion rule your behavior. Too often, lives are torn apart, relationships damaged , communication thwarted because of the poor choices of behavior in moments of anger.

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9 August 2012 28 Anger is a powerful emotion but one that can be dealt with appropriately. The more we understand our emotions, the more we can use them rather than be used by them.

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