matrimony.fidelity

FIDELITY IN MARRIAGEFAMILY : 

March 14, 2010 FIDELITY IN MARRIAGEFAMILY

FIDELITY IN MARRIAGE.FAMILY : 

March 14, 2010 FIDELITY IN MARRIAGE.FAMILY 1. THE FAMILY, AS THE FIRST CELL OF SOCIETY: a) unity / b) indissolubility. 2. FIDELITYSecrets of a happy Marriage 3. EDUCATION: reinforces fidelity

1. The family as the first cell of Society : 

1. The family as the first cell of Society PERSON FAMILY SOCIETY Complementarity between men and women. Equal worth and dignity Both man and woman are equally human; both are created in the “image of God”, both are persons (MD 6 & 8). A person finds his fulfillment in the gift of self (Mulieris Dignitatem, 7)

1. The family as the first cell of Society : 

1. The family as the first cell of Society Ends of Marriage: 1. mutual help of the couple 2. procreation and education of children “For better or for worse, till death do us part” Properties of Matrimony: A. Unity B. Indissolubility

1.a. UNITY : 

1.a. UNITY A CONTRACT NATURAL INSTITUTION SACRAMENT.

1.a. UNITY : 

1.a. UNITY Can.  1134 From a valid marriage there arises between the spouses a bond which by its nature is perpetual and exclusive. Moreover, a special Sacrament strengthens and, as it were, consecrates the spouses in a Christian marriage for the duties and dignity of their state.

Unity, faithfulness and harmony : 

Unity, faithfulness and harmony Can.  1151 Spouses have the duty and right to preserve conjugal living unless a legitimate cause excuses them. Grave duty.

MARRIAGE FOR CATHOLICS : 

MARRIAGE FOR CATHOLICS 1. It’s a Sacrament 2. It’s a Vocation 3. It’s a path to Sanctity

Slide 9: 

THE PLAN OF GOD FOR MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY: LOVE Man, the Image of the God Who Is Love God is love, and in himself he lives a mystery of personal loving communion. Love is therefore the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being. St Thomas Aquinas: “To love is to will the good of another”.

Sacramental contract : 

Sacramental contract Conditions: Age; Free will; Knowledge of the terms of the contract (UNITY & INDISSOLUBILITY) & maturity to accept commitment; Catholics (dispensation for mixed marriages); Canonical form; Capable of having marital relationship.

1.b. INDISSOLUBILITY : 

1.b. INDISSOLUBILITY By virtue of the covenant of married life, the man and woman “are no longer two but one flesh” and they are called to grow continually in their communion through day- to-day fidelity to their marriage promise of total mutual self-giving. This conjugal communion sinks its roots in the naturaI complementarity that exists between man and woman and is nurtured through the personal willingness of the spouses to share their entire life project.

1.b.Indissolubility of the bond : 

1.b.Indissolubility of the bond Can.  1134 From a valid marriage there arises between the spouses a bond which by its nature is perpetual and exclusive. Moreover, a special sacrament strengthens and, as it were, consecrates the spouses in a Christian marriage for the duties and dignity of their state.

Moral and spiritual duties : 

Moral and spiritual duties “Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. (…) Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, ... Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” St Paul, to the Ephesians 5, 21-30:

Indissolubility : 

Indissolubility Rooted in: the personal and total self-giving of the couple, and required by the good of the children, in the plan of God : “What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder”.

DIVORCE : 

DIVORCE It affects society 2008 http://www.singstat.gov.sg/pubn/reference/sif2009.pdf Singapore … 3 % of total population, divorced or separated Divorce rate in Singapore is 17,2%. Sweden: 54,9 % end up in divorce. Australia: 46 % USA 45,8 % 2003 2008 Numbers of marriages 21,962 24,596 Numbers of divorces 6,561 7,220 /Annulments

Population declining : 

Population declining Total life births 39,826 (12,032 abortions reported) Fertility rate (per female) … 1,28 (3,07 in 1970)

Slide 17: 

“The average man [spent] more time deciding upon a car purchase than in choosing a lifelong spouse, and the average woman often [knew] more about her hairdresser than about her intended." Most common grounds of divorce: 1. Cruelty 40%2. Desertion 33%3. Adultery4. Alcoholism5. Felony conviction6. Nonsupport7. Impotence

2. FIDELITYSecrets of a happy Marriage : 

2. FIDELITYSecrets of a happy Marriage “Years ago I had a colleague who came from a part of Greece where parents still arranged marriages. Both sets of her grandparents had married this way. I once asked her what those marriages were like. She replied that both had actually been quite happy. When I asked her how that could be, given the lack of choice, she said: "Back then there was no possibility of divorce, so a couple knew they had to make their marriage work." Once a couple takes that attitude, the emotions fall into place quite nicely.”

2. FIDELITYSecrets of a happy Marriage : 

2. FIDELITYSecrets of a happy Marriage CONSENSUS or agreements between husband & wife: in family matters, recreation, friends, household tasks, leisure time interests. COHESION: exchange of ideas, laugh together, discuss things calmly, work together in projects. AFFECTION (sexual relations included here) SATISFACTION: which needs to be expressed

CONSENSUS : 

CONSENSUS Accept the spouse as he / she is Find quality time together daily to talk about personal things. Mutual understanding Discover and admire “new things” in the spouse Love cannot take holidays: conquer him / her daily Take care of small details in dealings Mutual respect in words and actions. Sexuality can never be first in matrimony: affection, self-denial go first.

CONSENSUSQuality of the marital relationships: : 

CONSENSUSQuality of the marital relationships: One area where every spouse needs to work is communication. Look at any happy marriage and you'll notice that the couple is good at communicating. A good marriage is like a Sonata: sometimes the piano leads, sometimes the violin.

COHESION.To know how to handle your spouse : 

COHESION.To know how to handle your spouse MEN More rationalistic (not rational) More result -oriented average adult: 13.000 words a day. When upset, retreats to his cave WOMEN More interested in feelings More people-oriented Average adult: 24.000 words a day. How many on the handphone? When upset, she talks about the problem.

Slide 23: 

Marriage Contract: the giving to the other partner of the exclusive right over our bodies with respect to those acts that have to do with the engendering of children. Marital right: the right of either partner to ask for the sexual act. Marital duty: the obligation of either partner to accede to the request of the other, whenever the right is reasonably requested (i.e., no violence or drunkenness). Quality of the marital relationships: AFFECTION

SATISFACTION: confidence in the spouse : 

SATISFACTION: confidence in the spouse 1. St. Thomas Aquinas's definition of love, which has never been improved upon: "To love is to will the good of another." 2. Marriage is a continual courtship. 3. Successful spouses listen. When their partner has something to say, they put down the paper, turn off the tv, and listen with their eyes. 4. Good spouses make quality time for one another. 5. Learn to yield cheerfully in matters of personal preference. 6. Be cheerful, period.

3. EducationReinforces fidelity. : 

3. EducationReinforces fidelity. E - DUCARE: point, sign direction. When? All the time. Since birth. Sensitive periods. Parents: first educators Rights to education, election of schools Right to have a healthy society: Divorce? Same sex unions? Legal and Social recognitions

3. EducationReinforces fidelity. : 

3. EducationReinforces fidelity. Who is the best candidate to Prime Minister? And Minister of Health? Minister of Education? Foreign Affairs Minister? Give roles to the couple. Give assignments and responsibilities to children.