My Confession

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Why is a confession important? Well, because it may have some bearing on the life of another -- or the lives of others! Confessions are to be real and honest -- a bearing of the soul or heart.

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My Confession : 

My Confession Adapted from a letter that originated in 2006 and continues even now. The letter was (is) a confession or expression of my thoughts regarding the unfortunate and irresolvable alienation from my natural children. hkirkrainer.org – AUDIO

An Apology : 

An Apology I have to apologize to several members of my family; my parents, my sister, and some friends that have been a part of my struggle to include my violation of a court injunction several months ago. hkirkrainer.org – AUDIO The need to apologize comes in understanding the effect that divorce has on family and friends. A 25 year study of divorce as well as other research bears-out that the costs (of divorce) are enormous. Still, healing and recovery can only begin with responsibility…and forgiveness.

A Faith-Building Thanksgiving : 

A Faith-Building Thanksgiving Having time to reflect on these events has brought some positive outcome in the form of faith-building – which for me sometimes occurs after having failed by all other means. hkirkrainer.org – AUDIO Thanksgiving and gratitude go a long way…. Faith is trusting in something (or someone) that has proven power to heal the broken-hearted and to restore relationships. A heart that desires thankfulness in the midst of pain and loss is a heart that’s ready to be used in a mighty and redeeming way.

The Charges : 

The Charges The violations that I mentioned occurred: September 2006 – Violation of an Injunction November 2007 – Violation of Probation April 2008 – Aggravated Stalking hkirkrainer.org – AUDIO The criminalization of parents is not unusual – and sadly, is not all that uncommon either. Using the law to incriminate a parent is one of many tactics aimed to shift authority or power from one to the other parent. Not considered in such tactics is the effect borne by the children.

The Injunction : 

The Injunction In simple terms, the injunction (or its basis) is not true; or as said in the court system, it lacks veracity. The injunction is not an implication of the divorce decree (as presented) but is a contradiction… hkirkrainer.org – AUDIO Restraining orders (or injunctions) are the means to an end (in criminalizing…). Initiated on the victim statement alone, the order can be launched both pre- and post-divorce so as to summon the law on demand…while keeping the alleged (parent) at large or legally at bay.

Aggravated Stalking : 

Aggravated Stalking The court did not adjudicate the sentence – which means, according to the defense, that I was not found guilty or convicted as a felon; however, public records now indicate that I am a convicted felon… hkirkrainer.org – AUDIO “Aggravated” means the threat of, or practice in, violence. Letters and gifts to my children could hardly fit the description; yet such conventional parenting is easily perverted through a prosecution that couches good intentions in the pretense and protocol of expediency.

In A Word : 

In A Word Long before this “first violation”, I wrote letters to my children; indeed, hundreds of letters have been written largely under the title of In A Word . A Website has been built – largely for them, and still more… hkirkrainer.org – AUDIO In a WORD was the first of “projects” aimed at reaching my children. With the advent of the Internet, these letters can now be viewed along with a broad collection of writing and commentary. Such means remains protected by law such that a parent may try to reassure his children….

Good Intentions : 

Good Intentions Similar intentions were exercised over the period prior to and following the divorce to include: the attempt to avert a divorce in 2000…the attempt to re-establish visitation… hkirkrainer.org – AUDIO Good intentions and good results do not always coincide. In cause & effect, good intentions may lead to unintended consequences. Moreover, good intentions can be stymied the divorce industry beset on the demise of families and the sanctioning of divorce on demand.

Non-Custodial : 

Non-Custodial These attempts, coupled with some reading, have led me to the realization that a non-custodial parent has little success in the system. Basically a non-custodial parent is no parent at all – but has lost that privilege… hkirkrainer.org – AUDIO A non-custodial is, be decree, removed from his family; and at best, is a part-time parent – arguably, no parent at all…. Parents require authority; but when the courts get involved, authority is taken away – and often shifted to custodial parent in a sort of “Possession is 9/10’s of the law”.

Family Court : 

Family Court “Government has given our courts the ability to award our children as if they were prizes to one parent…with total disregard for the relationships destroyed with the non-custodial parent…” – The Liberator hkirkrainer.org – AUDIO In my observation, family court can be permissive beyond acceptable protocol; specifically, testimony (or allegations) can be lodged without any regard for truth or any risk of contempt. Such permissiveness enables and encourages unbridled elaboration – even lies….

Child Support : 

Child Support “But in family court, if your company goes bankrupt and you have a child support debt, you are considered somehow to have caused…The system is now a debtor’s prison…” - The Liberator hkirkrainer.org – AUDIO The child support model is linked to state revenue…through federal subsidies. Such a model encourages the highest award of child support and the highest enforcement over those in arrears or default. Children have been exploited as wards of the state.

The Children : 

The Children Speaking of the children – of whom I hold as the real victims of divorce – I am often discouraged by the proven inability and disinterest of the system in the child’s long-term welfare. hkirkrainer.org – AUDIO Though given lots of “lip service”, children are seldom considered in no-fault divorce. Like the “collateral damage” of wars, euphemisms and expediency become the means by which divorces are made de facto – irrespective of the data and research that reports troubling statistics.

Priorities : 

Priorities In a recent job interview, one of the questions was: what are the three highest priorities of you life? I responded promptly… hkirkrainer.org – AUDIO When divorce is predicted on the wants of one spouse, priorities are clearly out of order. Children should be the foremost priority in those most serious of decisions; yet again, the children are true victims who must navigate through a system that sees them largely as property.

The Heart : 

The Heart As a long-time friend once said - and I’ll never forget - “the intention (or heart) is what matters (to God)”. Therefore, my intention should be (and ideally is ever coming to be) in the order of my response. hkirkrainer.org – AUDIO Intentions do matter! In earnest, our intentions are evidence of the condition of our hearts. Thus, when intentions are aimed at destroying – rather than building-up – the condition of the heart is where to look. Deceitful though it be; the heart can be changed….

The Victims : 

The Victims To say again, the children are the victims of this longstanding conflict: they have endured the collapse of their family structure, the absence or limits of a parent, the broken promises of a covenant… hkirkrainer.org – AUDIO In the convoluted creation of no-fault is the fallacy that no one is at fault. Someone has to be at fault…just as some have to be the true victims. Those who did nothing to propel the divorce are the true victims; but again, the cause has yet to be clearly revealed…or exposed.

The Victims Advocate : 

The Victims Advocate Only one (possibly two) of the attorneys that I’ve encountered have stood in the gap for my children; and though an impressive appeal for the children’s sake, yet they were unable to compel a decision for the children. hkirkrainer.org – AUDIO On occasion has been an attorney that genuinely cares about the children. For these exceptions is my deepest gratitude. For the balance however is nothing but

Hope and Faith : 

Hope and Faith …but, the outcome has seen some light that continues to be the source of hope, of renewed strength and a stronghold in times of trouble. God is faithful! hkirkrainer.org – AUDIO Where does hope reside? Can hope exist without faith? We may casually or conveniently put our hope in this or that; but such momentary diversions are, well, momentary. Is there something of greater – even eternal – hope? Yes, I have faith that there is; but what do you have faith in…?

The Victim’s Cry : 

The Victim’s Cry Another source of reading recently sent-out a campaign letter that began with the question: What if there was a specific moment in time when you made the choice to determine the future of a child’s life? hkirkrainer.org – AUDIO When it comes to victims, the world has much to cry about…or with; yet in the smallness of my family, those who have cried – and rightly so – seldom get heard or considered in the convoluted protocol of the courtroom. Oh yes, the children are mentioned in discourse, but…

A Father’s View : 

A Father’s View I was so proud to see them running around and interacting as I use to do. At one point he saw me and dashed-off… hkirkrainer.org – AUDIO …but the children are conveniently moved to background – unless considered valuable to the prevailing and protected victim status. Only in this means to an end are the children deemed worthy of consideration – though merely used or leveraged by the law.

The Continuing Saga… : 

The Continuing Saga… I call it “recurring themes” but the saga that has been so predictable in this eight years is the attempt in abusing the law to profile me as a mentally or emotional incompetent to be a parent. hkirkrainer.org – AUDIO Like any perpetual war, the basis may be preemptive; that is, justified on what is said that could happen – rather than what has happened. As long as this basis remains believable - or resources exist - an effort will be made to avert…and expediency will rule regardless of truth.

More to Come… : 

More to Come… We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles; because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us…keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. - Romans 5 hkirkrainer.org – AUDIO Time has a way of healing wounds and, ideally, enabling truth to prevail over pretense. Maya Angelou said “History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.” May this history be a lesson to my children and the generation to come.

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