Story in Stone


Presentation Description

If you are familiar with the hand-game, Rock-Paper-Scissors, then consider some elaboration in the interactive play of a few rounds. Behind the basic game is the deep and profound truths discovered by one who understands the destructive nature of divorce.


Presentation Transcript

Story in Stone : 

Story in Stone Stories convey messages or meaning; and if carved in stone – with potential to last forever. This “story” continues with the theme of Always Father by offering solid and sure messages of stone, the sharp and cutting meaning of reliable and respected sources, and the paper-thin, sometimes-worthless words from elsewhere…

Slide 2: 

Rock, Paper & Scissors…a game Do you remember that game called “Paper, Scissors & Rock”? You know, the one…where two play; where you count three times and then, on the third lay of the hand, you form either an open hand (paper), or a “peace sign” (scissors), and finally a fist (rock/stone). In the three choices, the paper covers the rock, the scissors cut the paper, and the rock smashes the scissors. Okay, this story is going to use the rules of that game to add some meaning…

Slide 3: 

The paper represents information, or any other message, that lacks much depth or meaning; like paper, it is not worth much – but is worth more than spoken words alone…since it’s tangible Paper is usually thin and does not last a long time (unlike stone…which may weather the storm and elements) If you’ve heard the expression, “those words are not worth the paper their printed on”, you may sense that words on paper are not very solid or sure… What is the Paper?

Slide 4: 

What are the Scissors? The scissors represent information, or any other message, that is cutting or sharp; that is, it has “a bite” to it – so as to cut easily through paper…and with enough effort, can be used to turn worthless paper into something beautiful. Good scissors are usually made of steel – sometimes stainless steel…and can withstand the weather; if properly treated and used, steel scissors can cut right through any alleged or perceived worth of paper…revealing it’s faults Stone is a another thing however…

Slide 5: 

What is the Stone? The stone represents information, or any other message, that is solid and sure; it’s what castles and fortresses are made of – and has weathered the battles and storms of nature and life… This type of stone has been strengthened through pressure, heat and time – but has also increased in luster and beauty like a diamond in the rough. Stone has the means or substance to crush scissors – but may not need to. Paper can be a nemesis to stone however - and in fact has been for some time…

Slide 6: 

What is information? Information (or any other message) is essential to the game. This information comes in several forms… Mental information is what you’re thinking or what’s in your heart; from our heart and thoughts come words and actions. Verbal information is what you say in words or testimony; it too develops from the mind and heart, but is spoken… Written information is the most tangible; but because it ends up on paper, it can very thin - lacking depth and worth.

Slide 7: 

The value or worth of information Information, or the message, is helpful because it put the puzzle-pieces to create a picture…or understanding If we have a problem that we want to (or must) solve, we collect information from reliable and respected sources; but we must also build from what we know (or have learned) and sometimes, assume things we’re not sure about… Solving the problem depends much on the worth or value of information – which depends on the reliability and respectability of the sources…

Slide 8: 

Good question! Another old saying is “don’t believe anything you hear and half of what you read.” Of course, the saying came-out long before e-mail, text-messaging and other modes; still, this advice remains relevant… With this saying in mind, the most reliable add-on could be “seeing is believing”. If you see it or “watch” it happen, believe it! If you read it, believe less than 50%...and finally, if you hear it, than disregard it at the least and, ideally, question it for its honesty or truth… Where is information found?

Slide 9: 

How do I know if it is reliable…? Another good question! For which the answer or response is ironically a series of questions, some consideration, and finally, acceptance (or rejection)… The conclusion you draw from this process (of qualifying information) depends greatly on the veracity (or honesty/truth) of the source – as trustworthiness is important! Sometimes you have to trust your heart – which means that you cannot find answers to all the questions; or maybe, you just want to believe the source… What is True Honest or Trustworthy?

Slide 10: 

Enough already…let’s play the game! Okay; but I’m must warn you that I have pretty good information and, even though this game is a hand-game, it does require a degree of wits too. I also should mention that each time, before counting to three, I’m going to ask a question or make a statement; then, depending on the outcome, I’ll offer an answer or add comments… Since we can’t play this game face to face – as it’s meant to be – we’ll just use our imagination or improvise or make-do…

Slide 11: 

Okay, here’s my first statement… Okay, here we go: “1, 2, 3… (or “Rock, Paper”, Scissors…”) First, I want you know that I love you and have not forgotten about you. No matter what you’ve been told, this statement is true – and always will be…

Slide 12: 

Parents should love their children… “Looks like I am Paper and you’re Rock or Stone… Okay, Paper covers Rock (remember the rules); but wait, let’s go back to that statement about love… Whether on paper (or letters) or action, this Love has been carved in rock and stone – so as cover all other words spoken or written to the contrary

Slide 13: 

Love in Stone The message of love is not just on paper; but when paper is thin and worthless, my love will be written in stone. Not just the tangible stone like a monument, but the stone that lives and lasts, and is solid and sure…with truth and honesty. The message began your first day and will continue for my last day on earth. What was on the first day has been made stronger by the pressure, heat and time that turns earth to stone with brilliance and luster.

Slide 14: 

What’s love got to do with it? The Question of Love Love is a powerful, volatile, active force that permeates human motivation. Like any powerful force, it has both constructive and destructive potential. Sometimes the love we have gets changed (or is changed beyond our control); and in the process, becomes a powerful, emotional hurt. This pain or hurt can be a strong emotional force. A Shared Parenting Tool-Kit;, page 7

Slide 15: 

Okay, let’s play again, but first… …let me say, that much as been written to you; sadly I suspect, much of it has never reached you – thus leading you to think the worst about me. I am sorry for you…if this is the way that you feel – or have been made to feel…

Slide 16: 

Okay, here’s my second statement Okay, here we go: “1, 2, 3… (or “Rock, Paper”, Scissors…”) Second, I want to know that I have tried to reach you throughout the years; but have done so at the risk of violating a restraining order or injunction

Slide 17: 

Okay, let’s try this hand-game again Looks like I am Paper and you’re Scissors… Okay, Scissors cut or shred Paper; but wait, let’s go back to that statement about this injunction and my desire to reach you… The law says that I can have nothing to do with you; but the law is not always right – and often does not care, even about the truth… What is True Honest or Trustworthy?

Slide 18: 

Light in Stone The message of Light, where light represents what is true. My desire to see you – to be a part of your life – began a long time ago. Divorce brought this desire into dire straits – as the court’s could now regulate my role as a parent. Moreover, the courts shifted the balance of parental authority to one person. In such an imbalance is the potential for abuse – which includes the distortion of truth, the denigration of the dad, and deprivation in the intended damage to the parent-child relationship.

Slide 19: 

One other word about what’s true Why would a person originate a restraining order… than violate it? Maybe because the order was never about what’s true… The first restraining order occurred in March 2000; but was superseded by the courts in Georgia – where we lived. Only three months after the order, you came back to Georgia and, technically, the order was nullified when the originator violated it…

Slide 20: 

About restraining orders… Restraining Orders or Injunctions A mother who obtains a restraining order against a dad can “make him the only man in the world who is specifically prevented by law from seeing his children without permission. Restraining order recipients who attempt to contact their children or spouses can be arrested for “stalking,” an offense the federal government defines as “nonconsensual communication.” Stephen Baskerville; Taken into Custody, pages 178-179

Slide 21: 

Okay, you’re good, let’s play again “Looks like I am Stone and you’re the Scissors… Okay, Stone usually crushes Scissors, but sometimes those scissors can really “bite”… Scissors are part of the law and, again, the law is not always right; but scissors can also be right too – and cut through the worthless paper that is not true. Stone is another matter however…

Slide 22: 

Peace in Stone The message of peace has always been delivered in my attempt to see you or write you; I have never come to create or cause fear to anyone at anytime. The desire for peace is simple; as believers, we’re instructed to try to be at peace with everyone. To approach my desire to see you in any other way (to mean something other than peace) would only cause you more hurt and pain. Peace is for reconciliation – not for more pain and destruction.

Slide 23: 

Why is peace the right way? Fighting only adds insult to injury. What’s more, fighting does not accomplish anything in mending the hurt of divorce. Parents must bury the hatchet and do what is in the best interest of the children. Love for the children dictates peace…

Slide 24: 

One other comment about peace Even in the trauma and hardship of divorce, children find the best circumstance where both parents work mutually to love and care for them. When you consider that the children have been forced into a decision they did not want; and you (as parents) must pursue damage control.

Slide 25: 

Children heal through peace Family Healing We can make positive improvements in our relationships no matter what the past history has been. Divorce often brings a who new set of problems…and challenges…and how one views the challenges is what gives the feelings of being peaceful, powerful or useful…we can work things out. A Shared Parenting Tool-Kit; ACFC.ORG, page 9

Slide 26: 

Okay, let’s try this hand-game again …looks like I am Stone and you’re Stone too Okay, you know the rules…we’ll have to count again and break this stalemate; somebody has to win and someone has to lose, right? But before we play a tie-breaking round, let me say that in the family – a family; there does not have to winners and losers…but sometimes it happens

Slide 27: 

Promise in Stone The message of promise or commitment is about keeping your word or being a person of integrity. “Integral” – the root word of “integrity”- mean whole or complete. Marriage and family is built on commitment and promise; and when someone attempts to “win” by destroying marriage through divorce, they have broken their promise and commitment to the Lord, to their spouse, to their children and to the church.

Slide 28: 

Broken promises of marriage Unilateral or No-fault Divorce This means the either spouse may end the marriage at any time without any agreement or fault by the other. “No-fault” divorce gave judges, at the request of one-half of the couple, the right to decide when a marriage had irretrievably broken down. Today, while it still takes two to marry, it only takes one to divorce…the courts do not remain neutral but actively take the side of the wrongdoers… Stephen Baskerville; Taken into Custody, page 45

Slide 29: 

One more comment about No-fault Why would a person decide on divorce while knowing that it was not in the best interest of the child or children? By virtue of the name, “no-fault”, the impression is that the divorce is an accident – or no one’s responsibility. This title is erroneous; because divorce cannot occur without someone initiating it through the law and courts. Fault is always found in divorce; but where?

Slide 30: 

Heal the faults of No-fault… Fighting only adds insult to injury. What’s more, fighting does not accomplish anything in mending the hurt of divorce. Parents must bury the hatchet and do what is in the best interest of the children. Love for the children dictates peace…

Slide 31: 

Who wins…and who loses… In divorce, no one wins; but the deception created by the event is misleading; made so by those who stand to profit from the demise of the family. The children however are most often the losers – both as children and adults…there is no winner’s circle…as the circle has been broken

Slide 32: 

Divorce reaps financial costs Financial Cost of Divorce Divorces are very costly to the public. A single divorce can cost state and federal governments about $30,000…with increased bankruptcies and juvenile delinquency are included. The 1.4 million divorces in America in 2002 cost taxpayers about $30 billion. Father Facts, 5th Edition; Trends in Father Absence, page 60

Slide 33: 

Divorce reaps emotional costs Emotional Cost of Divorce Children do not dismiss their fathers just because there has been a divorce… They cry for their daddies – be they good, bad or indifferent daddies. I have been deeply struck by the distress children of every age suffer at losing their fathers. Judith Wallerstein and Sandra Blakslee, Second Chances: Men, Women and Children a Decade after Divorce, 1996

Slide 34: 

Divorce reaps social costs Social Cost of Divorce Divorce has reduced the levels of parental time and money invested in children. In sum, it has changed the very nature of American childhood. Those who are concerned about what downsizing of corporations is doing workers should also be concerned with what the downsizing of families through divorce is doing to parents and children. Barbara Whitehead, The Divorce Culture, 1997

Slide 35: 

Divorce reaps generational costs Generational Cost of Divorce Children of divorce enter future relationships with an expectation of failure. So when problems occur, which will happen, they see this as a failure and leave too soon rather than trying to work things out. Robert Billingham, quoted in USA Today magazine, 2003

Slide 36: 

Divorce undermines families Undermining of Families Throughout this country and abroad, large numbers of fathers and some mothers are being criminalized and incarcerated for what began as nothing more than a spouse’s hurt feelings or a private grievance…What is new is that now the government now assumes control over the family and an innocent parent – not by mutual consent of both parents – but at the mere request of one… Stephen Baskerville; Taken into Custody, page 21

Slide 37: 

Divorce penalizes parents Unwarranted Penalization of Parents Fewer still realize how easily and swiftly the parents are then turned into criminals…one parent can have another parent summoned to court and, without presenting any evidence of wrongdoing, request that he be stripped of all rights over his children and effectively ejected from his family; and in almost every case, the judge will oblige without asking questions…. Stephen Baskerville; Taken into Custody, page 20

Slide 38: 

Divorce denigrates dads Denigration of Dads…or Fatherhood The end result of many cultural, social, and economic trends…is a society surprisingly unsupportive of fatherhood. Indeed, if one were specifically to design a culture and a social system for the express purpose of undercutting fatherhood and men’s contribution to the family life, our current society would be close to what would result. David Popenoe; Life without Father, 1995

Slide 39: 

Okay, let’s try this hand-game again …looks like I am Scissors and your Stone…Well, you rascal…you win! Scissors are sharp and strong to be sure; and in this game, the scissors have some association to the law and courts Sometimes the law may do good – as intended; but other times, they may subvert rather than uphold justice…and deny constitutional rights…

Slide 40: 

The law is a human institution… …and because it’s made-up of humans, it is subject to failure and fault. Yes, the courts today are largely focused on their individual gain…and not on justice or fairness in the delivery and execution of the law; as family law is a prime example… The legal system falls woefully short of justice – the pursuit of truth.

Slide 41: 

Law on Paper The message of law is that it is largely arbitrary – which means that its does not need a rational or reasonable basis to exist; but can be instituted on the premise of Expediency and raw authority. Laws should protect the “innocent” and prosecute the perpetrator; but in divorce and family law, the innocent are often punished (namely children) and the wrongdoers are rewarded. Besides arbitrary applications, the law is also ambivalent; it doesn’t care about families and fatherhood…

Slide 42: 

The Law and Legislation Law and Legislation We in America are gradually undergoing a transformation into an administrative state similar to that achieved overnight in Germany in 1933 with the passage by the German Reichstag of the Enabling Act, which transferred lawmaking power from the legislative to the executive branch of the National Socialist government. P. C. Roberts, L. M. Stratton; The Tyranny of Good Intentions, preface, 2000

Slide 43: 

The Law and Marriage Law and Marriage When government stopped enforcing the marriage contract, it began enforcing the divorce decree…the result was the explosion of extensive and intrusive governmental instruments whose sole purpose is intervention in families. Stephen Baskerville; Taken into Custody, 2000

Slide 44: 

The Law and Divorce Law and Divorce Initiated and promoted by divorce lawyers through state legislatures, divorce law over a period of less than twenty years…shifted from being based on fault – requiring a finding that one party is guilty and the other is innocent – to the principle of no fault. David Popenoe; Life without Father, 1995

Slide 45: 

The Law and Families Law and Families But increasingly, they (the courts) are ignoring the law entirely… In family law, as in all aspects of law, social and behavioral science…are fast replacing presumptive legal rules and methods. The results have been predictably disastrous. Dana Mack; The Assault on Parenthood, 1997, page 88

Slide 46: 

The Law and Children Law and Children For the past century, theorists of family law have become more and more preoccupied with the needs of the children, and with the functions of the state as a kind of “super parent” that ministers to those needs perceived to be unmet by parents…they have wanted the courts to acts as an effective and enlightened instrument of child-rearing policy. Dana Mack; The Assault on Parenthood, 1997, page 89

Slide 47: 

The Law and Custody Law and Custody It is important to understand that “custody” is not the right to parent one’s children; it is the power to prevent someone else from parenting his children and to marshal the penal system – courts, police, and jails – to ensure he stays away from them. Stephen Baskerville; Taken into Custody, 2000

Slide 48: 

The Law and the Constitution Law and the U.S. Constitution In a free society, law empowers Everyman against the arbitrary power of government… The writ of habeas corpus [safeguards] the right of the accused against self-incrimination, and the right not to be jailed without cause. Plea bargaining is akin to torture, because it can be used to extract false confessions from the accused so that they can avoid being tried… P. C. Roberts, L. M. Stratton; The Tyranny of Good Intentions, pages 14, 18

Slide 49: 

One final comment about the law In the preceding comments or quotes, the sense may be that law is altogether wrong or in error; that is not my message. My message is that the “family law” does not protect the innocent, does not value the family and does not honor or uphold marriage…

Slide 50: 

Okay, let’s try this hand-game again Looks like I am Scissors and you’re Stone… Okay, Scissors cannot out last stone; metal may rust but, then again, stone may crumble. Well, does this mean a stalemate? No; even though the game says that stone breaks scissors – life is not always like that; but nature shows that stone does seem to last…

Slide 51: 

One more comment about Nature Why would a parent try to see his children when the law stands in the way? Because his nature, as a parent, is to protect them... Nature is the source of much law; as humans are part of nature. Nature is not the ultimate source however, as God is the maker of nature – what we see, understand and is otherwise invisible or unknowing. From nature comes stone that is enduring and steadfast…

Slide 52: 

Nature in Stone The message of nature includes a paternal and maternal instinct – a natural desire and practice of protecting your offspring, or defenseless young. When the government dismembers a family (through divorce), it defies the natural and well-reasoned protection of the parent. At the same time, it takes “authority” over a family…and does so without any sense of responsibility for the children; basically, government cannot love…

Slide 53: 

The Divorced but Natural Father The Divorced but Natural Father But the larger truth is that most divorced fathers in America, for whatever reason, lose almost all contact with their children over time… Childrearing is one of the most time-intensive of all human activities, and it is difficult to perform it will in absentia. David Popenoe; Life without Father, 1995

Slide 54: 

The Fact about Natural Family The Fact about Natural Family In fact, marriage appears to be a strong safety factor for women. A satisfactory marriage between sexually faithful partners, especially when they are raising their own biological children, engenders fewer risks for violence than probably any other circumstance in which woman could find herself. David Popenoe; Life without Father, 1995

Slide 55: 

The Nature of the Fatherless The Nature of the Fatherless The negative consequences of the fatherless are all around us. They affect children, women and men. Evidence indicating damage to children has accumulated in near tidal-wave proportions. Fatherless children experience significantly more physical, emotional, and behavioral problems than children growing up in intact families. David Popenoe; Life without Father, 1995

Slide 56: 

The Nature of the Beast The Nature of the Beast Men, in general, and fathers in particular, are increasingly viewed as superfluous to family life: either expendable or as part of the problem. Masculinity itself…is typically treated with suspicion and even hostility in our cultural discourse. David Blankenhorn; Fatherless America, 1995

Slide 57: 

The Natural Decline The Natural Decline Fatherless (America) contributes to a decline of character and competence in children. Today, a growing character (-based) deficit is widely evident in our society, affecting countless aspects of children’s behavior and mental health…Children doing without a father’s money is the easy part. Money influences what you have and not what you can do. David Blankenhorn; Fatherless America, 1995

Slide 58: 

The Nature of Father & Son The Nature of Father & Son A study by the Journal of Social Issues, reports that boys who live with their fathers (after divorce) have a higher degree of self-esteem, are more mature, and more independent than boys who live with their mothers. Warren Farrell, The Father and Child Reunion, 2001

Slide 59: 

The Nature of Father & Daughter The Nature of Father & Daughter …where one parent undermines the rights of the other parent – has many potential consequences for the children or young people. For son’s, a consequential fear of women, sex and commitment can result; and for daughters, a underlying suspicion of men – while at the same time, the natural desire to have and need a father. H. Kirk Rainer, A Once and Always Father, 2009

Slide 60: 

I’m ready to quit (the game)… …but I’m not ready to quit being a father and being a blessing to those of my family, and friends – and even my enemies! My desire is not to quit in all these things because of “good fruit” the Lord has planted and is growing. Good Fruit means good things that we do – even when others do not appreciate it, criticize and condemn it (or condemn me). Fruit is sweet and nutritious and, when planted, grows more fruit for the blessing

Slide 61: 

Fruit in Stone The message of fruit is sweet to the soul. It does not deceive, deprive or destroy; but it is a gift by God for the blessing of his children. Fruit describes all the character qualities of Christ – for which his children are endowed through the Spirit. In these fruits is meaning that enables us to live in a fallen world – a world of deceit, deprivation and destruction. Until He comes, holdfast…and taste the fruit

Slide 62: 

The Fruit of the Father The Fruit of the Father Don’t ever doubt the impact that fathers have on children. Children with strongly committed fathers learn about trust early on. They learn about trust with their hearts. They learn they’re wanted, that they have value, that they can afford to be secure and confident and set their sights high. They get the encouragement they need to keep going through the rough spots in life. Father Facts, 5th Edition; Positive Effects of Father, page 154

Slide 63: 

The Fact of the Family The Fact about Natural Family Fatal abuse…and neglect are lowest in households with married biological parents and highest in households in which biological mother cohabits with someone who is not the parent…If American society continues to give equal standing to married family life, single-parent life, and cohabitation, it must expect high levels of child abuse. Patrick Fagan, Dorothy Hanks; The Child Abuse Crisis: The Disintegration of Marriage, Family and the American Community, The Heritage Foundation, 1997

Slide 64: 

The Fruit of Friends The Fruit of Friends …the friend is someone whom you trust; otherwise, the relationship may be weak, shallow, and subject to the whims or conditions of the moment. In a popular song by Michael W. Smith, “a friend is a friend forever if the Lord is the Lord of them” describes the Lord’s presence in the relationship that can yield unconditional love – the essence of friendship. H. Kirk Rainer; In A Word - “Friends”, 2004

Slide 65: 

The Fruitless Tree The Fruitless Tree Don’t waste your time on useless work, mere busywork, the barren pursuits [or fruitless] of darkness. Expose these things for the sham they are. It’s a scandal when people waste their lives on things they must do in the darkness where no one will see. Rip the cover off those frauds and see how attractive they look in the light of Christ. Eugene Peterson; The Message, Ephesians, Chapter 5

Slide 66: 

The Fabric of a Free Society The family is “the fabric of a free society”. But when the fabric is torn by the naked blade of the figurative scissors, or it is becomes unraveled by the endless volumes of worthless paper, it loses its vibrancy and value…and the free society is vanquished.

Slide 67: 

Fathers and Fabric Fathers of the Fabric Fatherhood is no simple phenomenon, but a complex tapestry of things[…] the reality [is] that fatherhood is not a static phenomenon, but more like a moving target, only some of which has constant meaning. Father Facts, 5th Edition; Trends in Father Absence, page 154

Slide 68: 

Family Law and Fabric Family Law and the Fabric They (judges and the patronage) are part of an ideologically-driven bureaucratic machine that is highly effective at executing its purpose, which is to seize control of children from their parents and use them to extend the scope and power of the state over the private lives of adults. Stephen Baskerville; Taken into Custody, 2000

Slide 69: 

Felonies and the Fabric Felonies and the Fabric The father’s removal initiates the problems for the state to solve, and because the state and its operatives are then perceived as the solution and not the problem, their mistakes and misdeeds justify their continued existence and limitless expansion as the problem-solvers. (The state creates the problem by rewarding the dissolution of the marriage – rather than it’s continuation and, when necessary, incriminating the parent…) Stephen Baskerville; Taken into Custody, 2000

Slide 70: 

Fallacies regarding the Fabric Fallacies regarding the Fabric The state must declare the child to be the most precious treasure of the people…as long as government is perceived as working for the benefit of the children, the people will happily endure almost any curtailment of liberty. (As long as the state can convince the public that it’s working “in the best interest of the children”, it can remain in good standing – with absolute authority and no responsibility…) Stephen Baskerville; Taken into Custody, 2000

Slide 71: 

Fraud about Fabric Fraud about the Fabric We live in a society in which the family is becoming an increasingly volatile unit …the overwhelming majority of parents I’ve talked to insist that they pale as authority figures in comparison to their own parents. (The state is superseding parents as the viable authority in their lives by discounting the value of parents – especially fathers – in the children’s development) Dana Mack; The Assault on Parenthood, 1997

Slide 72: 

The use of gold in the background of the presentation is a tribute to my oldest child, Matthew Kirk Rainer. Born on March 30th 1990, Matthew (Matt) and I have not had mutual contact since he was eleven. Our last moment together was a hug – just before he moved to Florida… The signature color comes from a pet name his grandfather used, “Sunny Boy”. Gold is used in the stone background and in the fabric or cloth. Stone to Gold

Slide 73: 

Stone to Pink The use of pink in the background – for the stone or marble – is a tribute to my daughter, Kathryn Abigail Rainer. Pink was her favorite color as a child (as many girls) and was the color of her room the last time that we had contact. “Abby” shares a love of music – as her old brother; I am thankful for that and for her apparent ability to express herself in writing. Having known her and her brothers, I am a blessed man.

Slide 74: 

Stone to Green The choice of the deep, green color of marble or stone was in tribute to my third oldest son, Benjamin Christian Rainer who was born on February 5th, 1995. He was a small fellow with big brown eyes. Why green? The color is sometimes associated with the military – and Ben seemed to like things military…such as those little plastic soldiers. He has certainly outgrown those toys but I remember him playing so intensely.

Slide 75: 

Stone to Blue Finally, Brian Wesley Rainer. (I know, four kids is a lot – but I always wanted kids and thought all the while that I would always be there for them. Brian-Wesley was named in honor of John Wesley. He was born on November 1st, 1996. A robust and energetic fellow, Brain-Wesley seemed to be the most gifted in the athletic field – but could also be the “artful dodger” too. So here’s to you Mr. Blue…

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Dana Mack; The Assault on Parenthood, 1997 Stephen Baskerville; Taken into Custody, 2000 Father Facts, National Fatherhood Initiative. 2007 David Popenoe; Life without Father, 1995 Eugene Peterson; The Message, 2002 H. Kirk Rainer; In A Word, 2004 P. C. Roberts, L. M. Stratton; The Tyranny of Good Intentions, 2000 Warren Farrell, The Father and Child Reunion, 2001 David Blankenhorn; Fatherless America, 1995 Barbara Whitehead, The Divorce Culture, 1997 A Shared Parenting Tool-Kit;, 2003 Judith Wallerstein and Sandra Blakslee, Second Chances: Men, Women and Children a Decade after Divorce, 1996 Primary Sources

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