Sharper Image: Sharper Image Table Manners
Stand, Sit, and Walk with Pride
Body Language Conduct
Course: Integrated Business Applications
Objective: Explain how participation in career and technology education student organizations (FBLA) can promote lifelong responsibility for continued professional development (standard for student organizations, B4)
Click on the following links for information related to that topic. Table Manners
Stand, Sit, and Walk with Pride
Body Language Table Manners: Table Manners Always start with the implement of each type that is farthest from the plate, assuming the table has been correctly set. In other words, begin at the outside and eat in.
Table Manners (cont.): Table Manners (cont.) Unfold napkin and place in lap. Wait for hostess to do so first.
If it’s a large napkin, unfold to half its size. Begin eating after hostess picks up her first implement, or, if a very large party, after five or six have been served. Correct Silverware Usage: Correct Silverware Usage Hold fork between index finger and thumb, resting fork on middle finger about midway up the fork handle. Like this! Not like this!: Not like this! Cutting Meat: Cutting Meat To cut meat, hold fork in left hand and knife in right hand. Then switch fork to right hand to eat. American style of using a knife and fork: American style of using a knife and fork In the American style of eating, after cutting your meat you switch the fork to your right hand from the left, put your knife down on the plate, spear a piece of meat, and then eat it. (It’s a lot of work, doing it that way, but that’s the way we do it in this country.) Between cuttings: Between cuttings Place knife on plate, diagonally, on upper right corner between cuttings. Don’t cut meat up all at once; preferably one bite at a time. Pause: Pause When you have paused in eating but have not finished, leave your fork and knife in this position. A trained waiter will know that you are signaling him not to remove your plate. Place your napkin in your seat or to the left of the plate. Finished: Finished When you leave your fork and knife on the side of the plate in this position (fork tines may be up or down), it signals the waiter that you are through eating and that your plate may be removed. Finished: Finished Place the napkin to the left of the plate. Wait for the hostess to do so first. If the plate has already been removed, put the napkin in the plate’s place. Table Manners Guidelines: Table Manners Guidelines Dishes are passed counterclockwise (to the person on your right).
If someone on the far end asks for something to be passed, and you want some when it goes by you, it’s okay to help yourself as it goes by as long as you don’t get the last serving.
If you’re a guest at a dinner party, it’s a good idea to wait until the hostess offers seconds. Guidelines (cont.): Guidelines (cont.) Serving dishes and pitchers with handles should be passed with handle toward person receiving it.
Remember to say 'please' and 'thank you.'
When passing your plate to the head of the table for seconds, leave the knife and fork on the plate, and be sure they are far enough on not to topple off. Guidelines (cont.): Guidelines (cont.) If you are serving a table, serve to the left, remove from the right.
If you must leave before the others have finished, always say, 'May I be excused, please?' Then say, 'I enjoyed it' to the hostess.
Contribute your share to polite conversation. (not illness, dental work, etc.) Guidelines (cont.): Guidelines (cont.) If something is in your mouth that you need to discard, whether it’s a bone, seed, or whatever; as inconspicuously as possible, spit it into your fork or fingers and quickly place it on the edge of your plate. Do not spit it into your napkin.
If it happens to be a bug, or a hair, quietly discard it under the table. No need to ruin everyone else’s meal. You may use your napkin for a bug. If in a restaurant, notify the waiter. Guidelines (cont.): Guidelines (cont.) If you have a bite of chewed meat you can’t swallow; as inconspicuously as possible, remove the unconquered portion with your fingers and sneak it safely out of sight under a piece of lettuce or potato skin.
You may use a piece of bread to push food onto your fork if you need to, or you may hold your knife in your left hand and use the knife to push the food onto the fork.
Guidelines (cont.): Guidelines (cont.) You may mop up the last bit with bread, provided you do it with your fork; not your fingers.
Bread should be pulled apart into moderate-sized pieces with your fingers. You may use your knife for biscuits or toast. Don’t butter rolls ahead, rather butter each piece and then eat it. Guidelines (cont.): Guidelines (cont.) If you have a bread and butter plate, keep your roll there. If not, keep it on the top left side of your plate. You can discreetly pick up crumbs and put on your plate.
Soup – Dip spoon away from you. Eat from the side of the spoon.
Spaghetti – Twirl with a fork. Don’t cut.
Guidelines (cont.): Guidelines (cont.) Other cultures – Korean cuisine
'When you eat with older people, you would not lift a spoon or chopstick until the older people begin,' Lockcuff says. (unknown news source)
Don’t use toothpicks or pick your teeth with your fingers at the table. Go to the restroom if you can’t wait.
Sit erect with your feet on the floor, not on the furniture. Guidelines (cont.): Guidelines (cont.) Never sprawl your legs out far enough under the table to encroach upon the territory of others.
Never blow your food to cool it.
Never serve yourself with your own silver.
No elbows on the table.
Hands in lap when not eating.
When eating, keep the hand you are not using in your lap. Guidelines (cont.): Guidelines (cont.) Do not talk with food in your mouth.
Chew with your lips closed.
Don’t gesture with your silverware.
Don’t tip chairs.
Don’t meet your food halfway. Bring it up to your mouth.
If you have a spill…
In a home – say 'I’m sorry.' Help, if needed.
In a restaurant – Call the waiter.
Guidelines (cont.): Guidelines (cont.) Wait until you have swallowed your food to take a drink.
Don’t encircle your plate with one arm while eating with the other.
Don’t push back your plate when finished. Wait until it is removed or you clear it. Dear Abby:: Dear Abby: I am 60 years old. Somewhere in the past, I acquired the habit of pushing my plate toward the center of the table when I finished eating.
My ladyfriend, who was born and educated in England, says this really gets on her nerves.
I never noticed it before because I have always thought it was proper—that it signals to the server that you are finished with that course. Please advise.—Serious in Boston Dear Serious:: Dear Serious: Pushing one’s plate toward the center of the table is not proper. To signal the server that you have finished eating and are ready to have your plate removed, place your knife and fork together diagonally across the upper right corner of the rim of your plate. The knife blade should face inward and the fork should be on the inside.--Abby Videos: Videos Video: Proper Table Manners – The Do’s and Don’ts
Video: Introduction, Definition, and History of Etiquette Shaking Hands: Shaking Hands Use a pleasantly firm grip and look the person in the eye. (Handshake Video)
Men and boys shake hands when introduced
Traditionally, ladies have not shaken hands when introduced to other ladies; however, they have begun to shake hands in social and business settings. Either is okay. If someone offers their hand, shake it! Shaking Hands, Continued: Shaking Hands, Continued When a man is introduced to a woman, it’s up to the woman to offer her hand if she chooses (exceptions—host, boss, friend of parents, much older man); however, if he offers his hand, shake it.
A child should be prepared to shake hands when adults offer their hands.
On former President Clinton: On former President Clinton But what would you think if you got to know him?
Chances are the first impression would be terrific. He is a seductive conversationalist, the kind of man who locks eyes and hands on a new acquaintance and makes you feel like nobody is more important.
His soft, beefy right hand grabs yours–his left hand resting atop the handshake for a double-barreled hello. He nods his head with your every point: 'Right…Exactly…I know.' And at his most charming, he might yoke a heavy arm around your neck in a best-buddy embrace.
'He is one of the most attentive, intensive listeners I’ve ever known' said Blair, a friend since the 1970s.
But don’t be surprised if his blue eyes suddenly dart over your shoulder. Somebody more compelling might be standing behind you—a congressman, a corporate head, a flashy Hollywood star.
'He’s always looking for the next conversational conquest,' said another longtime friend. (news source unknown) Introduce With Pride: Introduce With Pride
Knowing how to introduce people helps to put yourself and others at ease. Remember that both people are not being introduced, but that one person is being introduced to the other. One person is shown a little more courtesy, so you say that person’s name first.
President, Ministers, Principals
Introductions (cont.): Introductions (cont.) Introduce a man to a woman. Say the woman’s name first. Ex., 'Jenny, this is my cousin, Robert Smith. Robert, this is Jenny Atwood.'
Introduce a young person to an older person. Say the older person’s name first. Ex. 'Mr. Staples, this is my little sister, Nancy.' Introductions (cont.): Introductions (cont.) Introduce your friends to your parents. Say your parents’ names first. Ex. 'Mom and Dad, I’d like for you to meet Mary Adams and Susie Smith.' Mary and Susie, my parents, Mr. and Mrs. Scott.'
Introduce everyone to a minister or head of country or state. Say the minister’s name first. Ex., 'Dr. Graham, this is my mother, Martha Sims.' Introductions (cont.): Introductions (cont.) When introducing people of the same sex and same age, say either name first. Don’t say 'this is my friend, Mary.' It may make the other person feel like she’s not your friend.
At Open House, you should introduce your parents to your teachers. Say your teacher’s name first. Ex. 'Mrs. Poag, this is my Mom. Mrs. Wilson.' You may reverse this in the grocery store and say your Mom’s name first. Introductions (cont.): Introductions (cont.) When you have been introduced, respond to the introduction and try to repeat the person’s name. It’s a compliment to the person, and it helps you to remember their name.
When making an introduction say something that will suggest a topic of conversation for those being introduced. Ex., 'Mom, this is Stephanie. She’s in my strings class at school. Stephanie, this is my mom, Mrs. Mills.' When to Rise and Shine: When to Rise and Shine Young people rise at an introduction to an older person, whether a man or a woman. Actually, the young one rises when the older one enters the room.
Usually girls and women do not rise when introduced to their own kind and contemporaries.
Men and boys rise for all introductions, unless seated at a dinner table. To show his manners he makes a slight gesture of partially rising Introductions Review: Introductions Review Introduce a
Man to a woman
Young to old
Lower to higher
Say this person’s name first What to Say: What to Say More formal – 'How do you do?'
'I’m glad to meet you.'
It’s nice to meet you.'
NOT – 'pleased ta meecha' Videos: Videos Video: More on Introductions
Video: Tips for Polite Introductions Public EntertainmentBasic Principles of Conduct: Public Entertainment Basic Principles of Conduct Be on time
Do not draw attention to yourself by noisy or conspicuous behavior.
Do remember that others in the audience, as well as the performers, are entitled to your consideration.
Public Entertainment Conduct (cont.): Public Entertainment Conduct (cont.) 'Excuse me, please' is the natural thing to say when having to disturb anyone in order to get to or leave your seat in a theater. If someone has to stand to let you pass, add 'Thank you' or 'I’m sorry.' If you have to pass them again, say 'I’m sorry to disturb you again, ' and 'Thank you' as they let you go by.
When climbing in and out of a row of seats, face the stage or front and press closely to the backs of the seats in front of you, being careful not to drag your coat or purse over the heads of those seated nearby. Public Entertainment Conduct (cont.): Public Entertainment Conduct (cont.) Let others pass by moving knees in, or to the side, or standing if necessary.
Quiet please? Not talking during performance.
Do not hum or 'keep time' with fingers or feet, rustle programs or candy wrappers, or indicate approval or disapproval with gasps, groans, sighs, etc. Public Entertainment Conduct (cont.): Public Entertainment Conduct (cont.) At a symphony, the conductor and guest soloists are applauded when they walk onto the stage. Clapping stops as soon as the conductor steps onto the podium and raises his baton. Applaud when the conductor turns toward the audience and bows. Stand, Sit, and Walk with Pride: Stand, Sit, and Walk with Pride Poor posture is a person’s number one image enemy.
Perfect standing, sitting, and walking posture is not only the most attractive presentation of the body, it is the most comfortable.
Learn the art of standing and carrying yourself well. Stand, Sit, and Walk with Pride: Stand, Sit, and Walk with Pride Superb posture emphasizes height and makes fashions look their best. Broad shoulders fill out clothing. Backs must be straight. You will be hard pressed to find a model, actor, or any famous, successful man or woman who slumps. Stand, Sit, and Walk with Pride: Stand, Sit, and Walk with Pride Not only does poor posture distort physical appearance and body functions, it has an equally adverse effect on one’s spirits and emotions. Mental fatigues and depression go hand in hand with a fatigued and depressed posture.
According to the National Physical Therapy Association, correcting posture problems may bring immediate relief from pain and promote movement efficiency, endurance, and a feeling of well-being. (news source unknown)
Stand high—feel high; stand low—feel low
If you are feeling low and unsuccessful, try changing your posture. It may just lift your spirits! Stand, Sit, and Walk with Pride: Stand, Sit, and Walk with Pride Whenever you try to correct a posture fault, whether it be in standing, sitting, or walking, the proper position is going to feel awkward to you at first. That is because your bad habits have become natural to you. Good habits are going to feel unnatural at the beginning. It is only through constant practice that you can eliminate both the bad habits and the awkward feeling which accompanies the changeover. But I assure you, the good habits will become the most natural and comfortable ones. Stand, Sit, and Walk with Pride: Stand, Sit, and Walk with Pride Perfect posture is a goal worth striving for. Make the most of your body and enjoy the aura of poise and self confidence that will surely be your reward. Posture Checklist: Posture Checklist Ears - Back over the shoulders.
Chin - Parallel to the floor
Shoulders - Back, down, and relaxed
Rib cage - Elevated at all times
Stomach – Pulled in and taut
Pelvis – Tucked in and tilted slightly forward
Knees – Relaxed and slightly flexed
Feet – Weight rests on the center of the foot Nails: Nails Cuticles
Massage with cuticle oil
Gently push back cuticles with cuticle stick. If you aren’t careful, you can damage the matrix from which the nails grow.
Wash off with soap and water Nails (cont.): Nails (cont.) File
Use an emory board – not a metal file.
Use clippers for hangnails only.
File in one direction. Use long strokes from the side to the center.
File into a slightly square (to strengthen sides) or oval shape.
Don’t file deep down at the corners as this can cause splitting and ingrown nails. Nails (cont.): Nails (cont.) Polish – Only polish if you are going to keep it flawless! Repair and redo when needed.
Nail Shape examples:
This Not this Or this Professional Attire – Female: Professional Attire – Female Business suit
Skirt or dress slacks with blouse or sweater
Dress shoes and nylons
Dress or skirt lengths must be below mid thigh.
A woman’s two-piece suit specifically designed to be worn without a blouse is acceptable. Professional Attire - Male: Professional Attire - Male Business Suit with collared dress shirt and necktie
Sports coat, dress slacks, collared shirt, and necktie
Dress slacks, collared shirt, and necktie
Banded collar shirt may be worn only if sport coat or business suit is worn.
A sweater over collared shirt with necktie is permitted.
Dress shoes and dress socks.
WHOM WOULD YOU CHOOSE?: WHOM WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
THE FUTURE BUSINESS LEADER OF AMERICA APPRENTICE Today’s Objective:Demonstrate powerful and weak body language used in business.: Today’s Objective: Demonstrate powerful and weak body language used in business. What is Your Body Saying?The Basics to Body Language: What is Your Body Saying? The Basics to Body Language Powerful Body Language: Powerful Body Language Openness: Open hands, unbuttoned coat.
Confidence: Steepled hands, hands behind back, back stiffened, hands in coat pockets with thumb out, fingers forming pyramid.
Cooperation: Upper body in sprinter's position, open hands, sitting on edge of chair, hand to face gestures, unbuttoning coat.
Slide57: Weak Body Language: Weak Body Language Nervousness: Pinching flesh, fidgeting, covering mouth, jiggling money or keys, tugging ears, wringing hands.
Frustration: Tightly clenched hands, wringing hands, fist-like gestures, pointing index finger, rubbing hand through hair, rubbing back of neck.
Weak Body Language cont’d: Weak Body Language cont’d Defensiveness: Arms crossed, sideways glance, touching-rubbing nose, rubbing eyes, buttoned coat, drawing away.
Insecurity: Pinching flesh, chewing pen, thumb over thumb, biting fingernail. What is my body saying to you?: What is my body saying to you? Additional Information: Additional Information Etiquette and Attire
SC FBLA Rock Hill High School FBLA Advisors, President and Vice President
at the National Leadership Conference in Nashville, July 2006. Credits and Bibliography: Credits and Bibliography Presentation Created By
Pam Poag andamp; Lisa Tompkins
Rock Hill High School Business Teachers
Data compiled from:
Emily Post’s Etiquette
FBLA (Future Business Leaders of America - www.scfbla.org)
Original Sound Recordings – Pam Poag and Lisa Tompkins
Videos – www.streamlinesc.org and Google Video (handshake)
Music – I Feel Pretty (Westside Story) www.youtube.com