Family Chapter 13 : Family Chapter 13
Traditional Image of Family : Traditional Image of Family The traditional image of the ideal American family is a monolithic image in which the family is
Rigidly nuclear.
Suburban Middle class.
Traditional gender roles.
This image was idealized in 1950s and 60s TV shows like Ozzie & Harriet and Leave it to Beaver. The reality is that only about 10% of American families fit this image. American families are actually very diverse.
Basic Concepts : Basic Concepts Kinship: social relationships based on blood, marriage, or adoption.
Family: a relative permanent social group of 2 or more people who share a kinship.
Some qualify this definition to add that, in addition to the above, these people live together.
Note: Social conservatives typically view family in much more narrow terms. They see it as a legal marriage between a man and a woman. Social liberals disagree, arguing that we need a more inclusive definition of the concept.
Basic Concepts : Basic Concepts Family of origin: the family one is born into.
Family of procreation: the family one forms, typically to have kids.
Marriage: a socially approved mating arrangement that is expected to be relatively permanent.
The Family in Cross-Cultural Perspective : The Family in Cross-Cultural Perspective While all societies recognize families, they do not do family the same way.
Industrial societies tend to favor the nuclear family. This is where there are only the parents and the children (and pets) living under one roof.
Non-industrial societies tend to favor the extended family.This is where the parents and kids live with or very close to other kinfolk.
The Americans tend to favor the nuclear family, but this is mainly in the middle class. Among the American lower class, extended families are quite common. There is much variety in American families.
Why are nuclear families so typical of industrial societies? : Why are nuclear families so typical of industrial societies?
Why Nuclear Families? : Why Nuclear Families? 1. Geographic mobility.
In industrial societies, work and family are differentiated institutions. People have relocate often.
2. Social mobility.
Our society is also socially mobile, with a fair amount of upward mobility on the ladder of success.
Both geographic and social mobility tend to weaken extended family ties. Nuclear families are highly mobile.
3. American values.
Another reason is that Americans like individualism and privacy, and the nuclear family is a more closed and private family system with fewer relatives “butting in.”
4. The rise of a large middle class brought more affluence.
Affluence made it possible to afford to live independently from other kinfolk. Nuclear families tend to be middle class families.
Comparison of American and Iraqi Families American Iraqi : Comparison of American and Iraqi Families American Iraqi Romantic love is the basis of marriage.
Most are nuclear families.
More egalitarian with democratic authority.
More exogamy.
Individualism emphasized. Arranged marriage is more common. 50% are between cousins – this promotes clan solidarity.
Most are extended families.
More patriarchal with elders in authority, more authoritarian.
Strict endogamy for most.
Familism (family over individual) is emphasized.
Marriage Patterns : Marriage Patterns Cultural norms regulate whom an individual is allowed to marry, and these norms vary across cultures.
Endogamy: marriage between people of the same group or category.
Most Americans are fairly endogamous by race, religion, social class, and age. We tend to marry people who are like ourselves, but we are a relatively free society so this is not so strictly enforced.
Exogamy: marriage between people of different groups or categories, such as between a white and a black person, or a Jew and a Christian.
Since the 1960s, Americans are more open to exogamous marriages by race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, etc.
Monogamy Vs. Polygamy : Monogamy Vs. Polygamy Industrial societies tend to favor norms of monogamy: one partner has one mate.
Our high divorce rate brings serial monogamy, where one mate is replaced with another.
Only 1/4th of the world’s societies limit marriage to monogamy, yet most marriages across the world are monogamous. This is due to the expense of having multiple spouses, the similar ratio of men to women, and the fact that people seem to like pairing off.
Non-industrial societies have more norms of polygamy: one partner has multiple mates.
Polygyny: one man mates with multiple women.
Polyandry: one woman mates with multiple men. This is fairly rare, given that most societies are patriarchal.
Family Authority Patterns : Family Authority Patterns Patriarchy: male social dominance. This pattern is found all over the world. Most societies are patriarchal.
Matriarchy: female social dominance. This is so rare that some argue there are no matriarchal societies in the world.
However there are societies where women are relatively equal to men. These are egalitarian societies.
The Americans and Europeans are moving from patriarchal, the current arrangement, toward egalitarian authority where men and women share decision-making together.
Four Historical Forces that Help Women Toward Equality : Four Historical Forces that Help Women Toward Equality 1. Industrial Revolution changed standards.
The new era emphasizes cognition over brute power, and women are just as smart as men.
2. Decline of religious codes and the rise of secular society.
Traditional Christian religion sanctified social hierarchy. The father was defined as above the mother, who was above the children.
3. Decreasing size of the family gave women time.
1800 – 8 children on average. This is burdensome for women.
1900 – 4 children.
2000 – 2.3 children. Women got time for more pursuits like jobs.
4. Technology changes like the pill gave women control.
The pill (1959) gave women control to postpone pregnancy so they could get educated and get better jobs.
History of U.S. Family, Functions, and Economy : History of U.S. Family, Functions, and Economy Economy Authority Structure Family Functions Period Pre-1800’s Agrarian Patriarchy, religious, women have economic roles. Modified-extended Almost everything, including economic functions. 1850-1950 Industrial Patriarchy, more secular, women lost economic roles. Nuclear Limited to child-centered and emotional activities, with father as breadwinner and mother as caretaker (ideally). Children and women become sentimentalized; women are more sexualized. Post-1970 Post-industrial Declining patriarchy, secular, women in the labor force. Less rigidly nuclear Dual wage families means some loss of child rearing functions to day care and schools.
Changing Images of Family : Changing Images of Family 1. Family as Haven. 1850s-today.
With differentiation of work from family, work became associated with cold, competitive conditions while family was linked to a warm haven of love, especially for the husband returning home from work. Family expectations increased.
2. Family as Fun. 1950s-today.
Post WWII affluence brought new expectations of family recreation which raised expectations about family life as fun times.
3. Family as Encumbrance. 1960s-today.
More family conflicts came out in the open. The rise of a distinct youth culture brought a generation gap between teens and parents, and rising feminism increased women’s frustration with patriarchal families. Since the 1960s, we are a bit more open about the family experience as a negative experience.
Four Key Functions of Family : Four Key Functions of Family 1. Socialization.
The family is responsible for primary socialization, making it the most influential institution in society.
2. Regulation of sex.
All societies regulate sex, and all have an incest taboo (a strong more forbidding sex between certain kin). This taboo helps define family boundaries while protecting the diversity of the biological gene pool.
3. Social placement.
The family ascribes an immediate social status for the infant and provides them with a social identity.
4. Material and emotional security.
People in families tend to be healthier and happier than individuals living alone.
Courtship in Non-Industrial Societies : Courtship in Non-Industrial Societies In non-industrial societies, courtship is considered too important to be left alone to the two individuals.
This is due to the central economic importance of the family to survival.
These cultures tend to favor arranged marriages - marriages set up by the parents, often when the children are still very young. In this system, marriage represents an alliance between 2 families more than 2 individuals.
Arranged marriages tend to be relative strong marriages, largely because the boy and girl share the same cultural values and attitudes. They tend to be homogamous.
Homogamy means that the couple have similar characteristics. Homogamy promotes marital strength.
Courtship in Industrial Societies : Courtship in Industrial Societies With industrialization and growing individualism, extended families decline and nuclear families increase.
The rise of personal choice (freedom) means that the marriage will be between 2 individuals who choose each other.
Here, courtship tends to be extended, because they need to get to know each other on their own terms and they need to select the “right” partner.
Another reason for the extensive courtship is that patriarchal societies tend to expect men to delay marriage so that they can become financially established.
In the past, courtship used to be chaperoned by parents. Today it is frequently a period of sexual experimentation and exploration of romantic love between 2 individuals.
Romantic Love : Romantic Love Romantic love is largely a Western ideal associated with the tiny aristocratic class of past monarchies. Eventually it spread to the vast rising middle classes of the 19th century, emphasizing erotic passion as the basis of marriage.
Before then, the basis of marriage involved practical and rational considerations, usually involving considerations of wealth, standing, and family alliances.
Today Americans are heavily socialized into the value of erotic romance as the basis of marriage.
About 50% of all songs on the radio are romantic love songs.
Americans view romantic love as the single most important element in courtship.
Romantic Love : Romantic Love Romantic love emphasizes the non-rational appeal of erotic passion as the basis of the relationship, and this can lead to intense initial bonding. It is the stuff of much poetry.
Romantic love is a non-rational criteria in a highly rationalized society, reminding us that we are not that rational.
However, romantic love is highly unstable. Studies suggest romantic love tends to decrease over time. Marriages based solely on romantic love can become unstable.
This helps explain why Americans have one of the highest divorce rates among stable societies. We use non-rational considerations as the primary basis of commitments intended to last a life time.
Romantic love, sometimes called erotic love, is one of several types of love, including affection (family based – such as between parent and child or brother and sister), friendship, and spiritual love. Often a couple that marries for romantic love develops these other forms of love, strengthening their relationship over time.
Romantic Love : Romantic Love How is romantic love functional today?
Industrial societies require a lot of geographical mobility among the workforce. A nuclear family bonded by romantic passion functions to make it easier to leave one’s parents, siblings, and friends behind to pursue a job.
Given the perhaps over-rationalized nature of our society, romantic love (and rock ‘n roll) offer a passionate reminder that we are not machines. We have feelings and we are free to express them.
Romantic Love : Romantic Love How is romantic love dysfunctional?
Studies of couples that move away from families and friends to a distant city to get new jobs reveal that there is an initial increase in the emotional solidarity of the couple, but that after a year or so there is a good possibility that one of the partners will become overly-dependent on the attentions of the other and the relationship becomes stressed.
Romantic love brings a high level of emotional intensity. Consequently, spousal arguments can breed aggression and violence. The Americans have a high rate of family violence and divorce partly for this reason.
Overall, marriages based solely on romantic love are less strong than marriages based on practical considerations.
Homogamy : Homogamy The strongest marriages are characterized by homogamy, where the couple shares similar social characteristics involving age, social class, ethnicity, religion, and core values. The more homogamous the couple, the greater their long term compatibility.
Fortunately, people tend to be attracted to others who share their values and come from a similar cultural background.
Gendered Intimacy : Gendered Intimacy Generally, whereas men use intimacy to get sex, women use sex to get intimacy.
It is partly related to male and female biology. Men have a higher sex drive at younger ages, while women have a higher sex drive at older ages.
This is also due to socialization, which encourages women to pursue intimacy while telling men to be less intimate and more autonomous and self-interested.
This means that men and women who have been socialized into mainstream definitions of “masculine” and “feminine” are likely to experience love and marriage in different ways.
It also means that women are much more likely to complain of the marriage as lacking in intimacy, and this may lead to divorce.
Gendered Intimacy : Gendered Intimacy Women tend to blend sexuality with emotional intimacy; men tend to separate sex and intimacy.
For women more than men, an argument will affect her desire to have sex with her partner.
Marriage brings responsibilities that passion alone cannot conquer, and passion itself is affected by social performance.
Satisfying sexual relationships are dependent upon satisfying social relationships, especially for women.
When the quality of the husband-wife interaction declines, the frequency and quality of sex tends to decline as well.
The key to marital bliss is in the everyday quality of spousal interaction. They must enjoy each other’s company in rooms beyond the bedroom.
Marriage : Marriage Research suggests that romantic love involves a high level of fantasy. People fall in love with others for what they would like them to be – not as they really are.
Women, more than men, are socialized to fall in love with the idea of marriage. Consequently women tend to have higher expectations about marriage, and are therefore more likely to become disappointed with the reality of marriage.
In marriage, spouses must learn to be realistic about their expectations of their partners.
There are several significant periods in a marriage that involve re-negotiation of roles and that many bring conflicts.
1. The first baby.
2. When the last child leaves home.
Problems of Childrearing : Problems of Childrearing Childrearing places special stresses on the family.
1. Economic stress. While children are an economic asset in agrarian economies, they are an economic liability in industrial economies. It has become very expensive to raise a child.
2. Social stress. Due to traditional gender roles, the mother tends to lose much of her social life because she bears primary responsibility for parenting the child, and she often becomes more dependent upon the man.
Women experience more role conflicts due to conflicting expectations as a parent versus a wage earner. Research suggests that women do benefit from having roles outside the family, however. This is because family stress can be buffered by having enjoyable non-family roles. This is called role buffering.
3. Psychological stress. It is not uncommon for men to feel jealous toward new babies and to feel more personal stress as the breadwinner.
Marriage in Later Life : Marriage in Later Life Today couples can expect to live into their mid to late 70s. This is 20 years longer than 150 years ago.
By the age of 50, the children have typically left home, leaving the husband and wife home alone to readjust their relationship.
This can be stressful and it is not uncommon for divorce to occur in this phase of marriage. They may learn they have little in common other than the kids.
This can also be a stressful time because motherhood may have been the wife’s master status and she must now renegotiate her identity.
Varieties of Family Life : Varieties of Family Life 1. Social Class.
The lower the social class, the greater the economic stresses and the more difficult to sustain a family.
For this reason, people in the lower class are less likely to marry, and once married, are more likely to divorce than other social classes.
The lower the social class, the less nuclear and more extended the family form is likely to be. This is because extended families offer more support for poor people.
The only exception involves the upper class, where extended families are common in order to promote in-group solidarity and to protect in-group wealth. Rich people are expected to marry other rich people – and this helps sustain extended family wealth. This is throw-back to the aristocracies of old.
The family is our most adaptive institution, and we adapt our families to specific conditions.
Varieties of Family Life : Varieties of Family Life 2. Ethnicity and Race
A. Hispanics (about 15% of the U.S. population)
More emphasis on familism, which means loyalty and duty to family.
Tend to lean toward extended families, partly due to Hispanics being disproportionately poor.
Tend to support traditional rigid gender and family roles that support patriarchy.
Ethnicity and Race : Ethnicity and Race B. Blacks (about 13% of the U.S. population)
Highest percentage of single mothers.
Almost 50% of black families are headed by a single mother, compared with about 14% among whites. Female headed households are common among the poor of all races.
The black family has been strongly shaped by the legacy of racism and the poverty brought by racism.
Blacks are three times more likely to be poor than whites.
Average black household income is only 2/3rds that of whites.
Blacks suffer from higher rates of unemployment, partly because many live in the ghetto, where unemployment is high.
Blacks : Blacks Blacks are less like to marry, and once married, are more likely to divorce than whites.
Like white families, black families tend to be nuclear in the middle class and extended in the lower class.
Today, more than half of all black children grow up in poverty.
Yet there is remarkable strength in many poor black families because extended family members support each other.
It is practical for single mothers to rely extensively upon her extended family supports for help with day care, transportation, housing, emotional support, and other vital needs.
Black fertility rates : Black fertility rates The birth rate for black women has generally been higher than for the rest of the population.
In 1996 there were 74 births per 1000 black women, compared with 45 births per thousand for the American population overall.
Black fertility peaked in 1989 at 91 births per 1000 black women.
The high fertility rate of poor black women has been the focus of much debate, because the more children a poor mother has, the greater the economic stress.
Why is the fertility rate higher among poor black families? : Why is the fertility rate higher among poor black families? Education factors. Generally, the less educated, the less likely to use birth control. Plus, our popular culture is highly sexualized.
Emotional factors. Given American racism, sexism, and classism, poor black women are not as well respected in our society. Parenthood confers at least some respect for the “mother” and it produces the feeling of being productive in society. It may also be the case that she wants love, and she hopes her children will bring her love.
Economic factors. She may hope that one of her children will become affluent, so she thinks the more babies she has the greater the chances. In reality, the more babies she has, the more economic stress she has.
Cultural factors. In the ghetto, it is not uncommon (1) for her to see other girls having more babies and to see it as normal behavior, and (2) for young black men to feel pride by having babies from different women. If he can’t be a man financially at least he can sire children to show he is a “real man.” Commercial hip hop doesn’t help here.
Gender Issues : Gender Issues American culture promotes the idea that marriage is more beneficial for women than for men.
This is a myth. The myth is related to traditional gender role expectations that women give up their jobs upon marriage and childbirth to assume the role of full time mother.
The problem here is that it makes women dependent upon men, and thus gives more power and authority to men at the expense of gender equality.
Another problem is that it “places all eggs in the single basket” of motherhood. Research suggests that people feel more fulfilled when they have a variety of productive roles.
Gender Issues : Gender Issues Research suggests that, contrary to myth, marriage tends to be more beneficial for men than women.
Married women report more illnesses and lower levels of personal happiness than single women. Women are more likely than men to feel trapped in marriage.
Women tend to be socialized into unrealistically high expectations about marriage, and patriarchy takes its toll on women in every institution, including marriage.
Married men report fewer illnesses and higher levels of personal happiness than single men.
Men have been socialized into relatively lower expectations about marriage.
Egalitarian marriages where the husband shares with the housework are associated with the highest levels of happiness, while patriarchal marriages where the wife has a full time wage job and also does the housework are associated with the lowest levels of happiness.
Gender Issues : Gender Issues Today, American men do only about 1/3rd of the housework compared with women.
This is better than it used to be, but it is inherently unfair in many cases because most women today have full time wage jobs.
This issue is complex. Men are socialized to not be as clean-oriented as women. What is “dirty” is in the eye of the beholder, and women are more likely than men to perceive a dirty household.
A key issue is whether women accept the relatively less amount of labor done by men. If she doesn’t, it often means conflict.
There are socialization implications for future-parents here. Should boys be socialized toward household chores like cleaning toilets more?
Due to patriarchy, men have more leisure time than women in context of their family responsibilities.
This may create marital conflicts too.
Family Problems - Divorce : Family Problems - Divorce Americans have one of the highest marriage rates in the world. Roughly 90% of all Americans eventually marry.
But America also has the highest divorce rate in the world. Today about 40-45% of American marriages end up in divorce.
The divorce rate peaked in the early 1980s in the high 40s percentage and has declined slightly since then.
Among whites the divorce rate is just under 40%, while among blacks it is over 66%.
Between 1890 and 1990 the divorce rate increased by a factor of ten.
What explains the high divorce rate? : What explains the high divorce rate? 1. Romantic love. Our culture’s emphasis on romantic love breeds unstable relationships.
2. Increases in individualism and the privatization of marriage. Americans spend less time with their families today. We have become more individualistic and privatized. The rise of television and dual-earner families has made it harder for spouses to connect.
3. Women are less dependent on the wages of the husband, making it easier for her to leave the relationship.
4. Children are more expensive and bring new stresses that some couples did not anticipate.
5. Divorce is no longer so stigmatized today – values are changing - and it’s easier to obtain a divorce today.
6. The American economy has become less stable since 1972, bringing new economic stresses.
7. The high re-marriage rate means that divorced people can expect to find someone else.
Who divorces? Divorce rates are higher for the following categories: : Who divorces? Divorce rates are higher for the following categories: Teenagers and younger people, more than middle aged people.
The lower social classes, where economic stresses are great.
Where marriage was due to unexpected pregnancy.
Where there is less homogamy between the spouses, or where the spouses sense they are incompatible or fight a lot.
Where women have successful careers. Likewise, where men prioritize their careers over marriage, and his spouse is not economically dependent on him.
Those who have already been through a divorce or whose parents divorced.
People who move away from kinfolk and friends and become more socially isolated.
People unable to cope with the loss of passion in a marriage or where one or both partners is immature or unfaithful.
Problems of Divorce : Problems of Divorce Divorce is not necessarily a problem. When divorce is the consequence of abuse, it is the solution to a problem. However, divorce usually involves making difficult adjustments, especially if kids are involved:
1. Emotional adjustments: sadness, depression, disappointment, sense of failure or loss, perhaps hostility.
Generally women have better coping strategies than men. Women are more likely to seek support from friends, family and counselors. All else being equal, it may take the average man twice as long to recover (up to a year).
2. Legal adjustments: new legal burdens, especially for estranged parents.
3. Community adjustments: Individuals must redefine themselves and become single again. Often friends divide up, favoring one or the other partner.
4. Economic adjustments: women tend to suffer a drop in living standards, while men tend to see a rise in their living standards.
Divorce Involving Parents : Divorce Involving Parents More than half of all divorces involve parents who must resolve child custody issues.
The traditional pattern is to award custody to the mother, because women have been traditionally viewed as the primary parent.
Recently a growing number of fathers have sought custody, and now joint custody – where both parents retain child care responsibilities – is common.
Joint custody preserves a strong bond between both parents and lessens the degree of hostility between the spouses. However it is difficult if one spouse moves away or the parents do not get along with each other.
Where the mother gets custody and the father is required to pay child support, there is a good chance that the father will become delinquent after about a year, especially if there is anger or resentment by the father. Increasingly, the state has stepped in to force payment.
Unpaid support contributes to the feminization of poverty, where women are more likely to be poor than men.
Divorce Involving Parents : Divorce Involving Parents Divorce brings emotional stresses, particularly on fathers who are not given custody and on children.
If the child is too young to remember, then the divorce tends to be less traumatizing. If the child is old enough to remember but not yet mature, the divorce often brings long-term trauma, and it is not uncommon for children to blame themselves for the divorce.
These life changes are highly stressful in most cases. Yet studies suggest that children seem to fare better under divorce compared with staying in a family characterized by a high level of conflict and violence.
Divorces involving legal settlements imposed on parents by judges in an antagonistic setting with opposing attorneys often bring poor settlements for one or both parties.
When divorce is mediated by a child custody mediator, such as offered by neutral organizations like United Way, the settlement is more likely to be respected and honored by both parents. (The lawyer merely carries out this mediated agreement).
Remarriage : Remarriage As the divorce rate in the U.S. increased, so did the remarriage rate. Today more than 80% of those who divorce will remarry.
Men are more likely to remarry than women.
Remarriage often creates blended families composed of children from different marriages.
Blended families must make special efforts to establish new (in-group) family boundaries to include the children.
Subjecting children to new, “instant” family relationships is difficult and stressful. Blended families are difficult to sustain due to these new stresses.
Family Violence : Family Violence The U.S. has the highest rate of family violence among all industrial societies.
In 2005, more than 700,000 people were victims of family violence.
73% of the victims were women.
Today, almost 1/3rd of all female murders are due to family violence.
This compares with only 4% of male murders.
Patriarchy has a severe effect on women. Historically, wives were the property of the husband and it was permissible for him to beat her if she was disobedient.
Family Violence : Family Violence Our society promotes the ideal image of family as a source of haven, fun, and fulfillment. It also promotes the family as sacred and private.
These images hide the reality of the family experience, which usually falls short of its ideal.
The American nuclear family is characterized by high levels of emotional intensity between the spouses, which is wonderful in context of love. But it also helps explain American family violence. Passion may quickly give way to violent anger.
The American emphasis on romantic love, the American love affair with alcohol, and the American “rat race” of stressful living contribute to our culture’s high family violence rate. And there are other factors too.
Spousal Abuse : Spousal Abuse The single most dreaded call by the police is the “domestic dispute” call. Police are more likely to be harmed by domestic disputes than any other call. This is due to the emotional intensity of these arguments.
Spouse abuse occurs in all social classes, although it is more likely to occur in the most stressed out social class – the lower class.
Psychologists have identified a relationship between stress and physical aggression.
Wherever there is chronic stress, there is a greater likelihood of family abuse.
About one in six couples have at least some violence in their relationship in any given year.
Women are as likely as men to initiate violence. However,
1. Violence against men is often retaliatory, and
2. Women are more seriously harmed by men than the other way around.
Spousal Abuse Causes : Spousal Abuse Causes 1. Romance and passion create an atmosphere of intensity.
2. Psychological sense of feeling trapped or caged in causes stress, which is linked to aggressive behavior.
This sensation of feeling trapped may be caused by a bad relationship, a bad job, a new baby, health issues, financial stress, etc.
3. Patriarchy. Women are devalued in patriarchal societies, and patriarchy encourages male authoritarianism.
In North Carolina at the beginning of the 21st century, it was legal to rape your wife, providing you shared the same roof.
4. Traditional masculinity (related to patriarchy) emphasizes brute power, aggression, and dominance.
5. Immaturity by the perpetrator.
6. The American society encourages aggressive behavior. We are socialized into violent action-movies and hip hop culture that celebrate our gun culture.
7. Alcohol – America’s favorite drink – creates the Jekyll-Hyde syndrome.
8. Family experiences growing up: violence begets violence, reminding us that family violence is largely learned behavior.
9. Social isolation. The private nuclear family isolates and hides family violence. When friends and extended family do not live nearby, violence is more likely.
Why doesn’t she leave him? : Why doesn’t she leave him? In the past, the law regarded domestic violence as a private issue between the spouses. She had few resources.
Even today, there are relatively few women’s shelters. In the Fall of 2007, one of the main Charlotte women’s shelters closed.
Traditionally, women have had few options. Even today, most women remain in the abusive relationship. Why?
She lacks sufficient family and wage resources to get out;
Her self-esteem tends to be very low;
she has become passive and tries to endure the violence;
She often feels she loves him and hopes he will reform (often this means stop drinking) some day;
she feels she is dependent on him, perhaps because they have children and she does not have a good job or family resources;
she may have tried to get away but lacked the resources and ended up back with him again. After that it is harder to take action.
Child Abuse : Child Abuse In 2005, there were 3 million reports of alleged child abuse or neglect.
Roughly 1500 children die each year from child abuse.
Child abuse is the ultimate taboo. This is because it is a severe violation of trust and power in a dependent relationship.
Children are dependents. They must depend on their families to provide for them, and this special power must not be abused.
Child abuse is both physical and emotional. Children suffer deep and lasting scars
They may somehow blame themselves;
They learn to distrust others;
They have difficulty loving others;
They frequently abuse themselves with drugs, prostitution, and other self-abusive behaviors.
Who are the abusers? : Who are the abusers? Child abuse is largely learned behavior.
Roughly 58% of child abusers are women, almost all of whom were themselves abused.
Incest, a special case of child abuse, involves the sexual abuse of a child. About 90% of these abusers are men, but they do not fall into easy categories.
One common trait of child abuse is that the abusers themselves were more likely to have been abused when they were children.
Violent behavior within close family relationships is typically learned behavior.
Primary causes of non-incest child abuse: : Primary causes of non-incest child abuse: 1. Stress, such as from feeling trapped in a relationship, a constantly screaming child, a bad job, feeling overworked or exhausted, etc.
2. Authoritarianism. Often the child abuser expects too much of the child and punishes them for failing to meet their strict and overly-high expectations.
3. Immaturity.
4. Alcohol.
5. Learned via their own family experience.
6. Absence of family and other social supports.
Conclusion : Conclusion Americans have high divorce and family violence rates for reasons that relate to the social structure itself.
The Americans are the only industrial democracy that treats work and family life as two separate spheres. They are not. If work is stressful, we bring these stresses home and “kick the dog.” American jobs are highly stressful and policy makers provide fewer supports for U.S. families compared with every other industrial democracy.
Americans are the only industrial democracy without national health care, national day care supports, 4-6 week vacations, and strong anti-poverty welfare support programs. In this country, the prevailing attitude is capitalist self-interest.
There are other key factors too: American gun-culture, masculinity, romantic love, hyper-individualism, and the American love affair with alcohol all contribute to our family problems.
End : End