Shore Stephen Adams Christina Sex

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AUTISM AND SEXUALITY Exploding Myths, Uncovering Facts, and Helping People with Autism Autism One Conference Chicago, IL Presented by Stephen M. Shore Christina Adams www.AutismAsperger.net www.ChristinaAdamsWriter.com

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The Autism Bomb A U T I S M & S E X U A L I T Y Introduction – Stephen Shore

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College More friends Dating Others really do think differently Utopia! Finishing a doctoral dissertation on comparative approaches for working with children on the autism spectrum A U T I S M & S E X U A L I T Y Introduction – Stephen Shore

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A U T I S M & S E X U A L I T Y Introduction – Christina Adams

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A U T I S M & S E X U A L I T Y Common Myths • Persons with autism… - have little to no interest in sex - are hypersexual - are solely heterosexual Talking About Sex - Myths of Sexuality - Peter Gerhardt But the Truth is… • Persons with autism are as diverse sexually as everyone else - and, sexuality education is complicated by challenges in language, communication, and social differences. While sexual feelings and interest may be high, a primary information source is usually not available – non-spectrum teens (Volkmar & Wiesner, 2003). - With proper support people with autism can have relationships; often with a person having a difference. So… How can we help people on the autism spectrum deal with this important part of life?

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A U T I S M & S E X U A L I T Y Talking About Sex - The Tapestry of Sexuality Sexuality is a part of life and is as developmentally appropriate for people with autism as anyone else. Heterosexuality Homosexuality Bisexuality Asexuality Everyone has a piece of each. It’s just a matter of degree.

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A U T I S M & S E X U A L I T Y Talking About Sex - Topics to Cover - Peter Gerhardt 1. Public versus private behavior 2. Good touch versus bad touch 3. Proper names for body parts 4. Slang names for body parts 5. Personal boundaries 6. Masturbation 7. Social skills and relationship building 8. Avoiding danger and abuse prevention 9. Dating skills 10. Personal responsibilities and values

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A U T I S M & S E X U A L I T Y Circle of Relationships

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Listening is the most important skill for friendship and romance. Good hygiene is probably the second most important skill. Close friends talk with each other about life experiences. Close friends can “agree to disagree.” The most important part of “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” is “friend.” Showing interest in another person is a terrific way to flirt. Being “revved up” can get in the way of friendship and romance. Friendship, Romance, and all that “Other Stuff” - Teresa Bolick, Ph. D. Before you talk about sex you need to talk about closeness A U T I S M & S E X U A L I T Y

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Never touch a friend unless he or she says it’s all right. If you feel uncomfortable about someone’s actions (or your own), tell a trusted adult. LAST BUT NOT LEAST, “Stop” means “Stop” and “No” means “No.” Those with autism are people too… Perhaps just more so. Friendship, Romance, and all that “Other Stuff” - Teresa Bolick, Ph. D. A U T I S M & S E X U A L I T Y

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A U T I S M & S E X U A L I T Y Talking About Sex – Jerry Newport When? Look for signs of interest • Suggestive clothing • Stickers • Books and magazines • Questions and comments • Signs of Masturbation Great subject for incidental teaching! Life-long conversation

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A U T I S M & S E X U A L I T Y Talking About Sex – Jerry Newport How? Sex is a normal yet a very private act and is clean. • Discuss in a developmentally appropriate manner - Find the balance between not too much and not too little • Make sure you understand the question(s) being asked • Explain in a matter of fact manner

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A U T I S M & S E X U A L I T Y Talking About Sex – Jerry Newport Helpful Hints for Discussion • Use simple visual aides to help explain male and female anatomical functions - People with autism tend to be visual. • Sex is a part of growing up to be discussed at the proper place and time • Responsibility in… - Seeking - Having - Respecting the wishes of potential and actual partners

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A U T I S M & S E X U A L I T Y Talking About Sex – Jerry Newport Helpful Hints for Discussion • Validate feelings of… - Fear - Possible loneliness from being left out socially ° For women especially — using sex as a way of gaining acceptance • Share your own experiences as appropriate… - Successes - Mistakes • You are there to provide nonjudgmental support in times of… - Further questions - Emergencies

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A U T I S M & S E X U A L I T Y Talking About Sex – Masturbation - Peter Gerhardt Redirecting Inappropriate Masturbation Interrupt the behavior as early in the chain as possible Remind the individual as to the parameters of time and place Redirect the person to… A. activities requiring the use of both hands B. activities requiring preferred levels of attention, focus, or physical movement C. the appropriate place for that activity Make the alternate activity intrinsically reinforcing Consider scheduling “alone time” in their room if appropriate Avoid redirection to places other than an individual’s bedroom (e.g. bathroom)

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A U T I S M & S E X U A L I T Y Talking About Sex – Resources Aston, M., The other half of Asperger Syndrome. Hénault, I., Asperger’s Syndrome and sexuality: From adolescence through adulthood. Lawson, W., Sex, sexuality and the autism spectrum. Mesibov, G., The TEACCH approach to autism spectrum disorders. Newport, J. & Newport, M., Autism-Asperger’s and sexuality: Puberty and beyond. Shore, S., & Rastelli, L., Understanding autism for dummies. Sicile-Kira, C., Autism spectrum disorders: The complete guide to understanding autism, Asperger’s Syndrome, pervasive developmental disorders, and others ASDs. Wrobel, M., Taking care of myself: A hygiene, puberty, and personal curriculum for young people with autism.