Gautam Handout

MORE THAN SURVIVING:THRIVE IN LEADERSHIP AND LIFE: 

MORE THAN SURVIVING: THRIVE IN LEADERSHIP AND LIFE MAMTA GAUTAM MD, FRCPC, MOT

Women in Medicine: 

Women in Medicine Increasing numbers: 1960 - 6% of physicians 2002 - 29.8% of Canadian physicians By 2021 – projected to be 43.5% Medical class – 60-70% female Medical School applicants – more female than male for the first time in ‘05

More Women In Medicine: 

More Women In Medicine Reshaping the way medicine is practiced Experience the same stressors as our male colleagues, and more

BIOLOGICAL FACTORS: 

BIOLOGICAL FACTORS Lack of Sleep Poor Eating Habits Poor Level of Fitness

BIOLOGICAL FACTORS -2: 

BIOLOGICAL FACTORS -2 Family history of psychiatric illness Overuse of alcohol or drugs Anxiety disorders Primary Affective Disorder Eating Disorders

COMMON PERSONALITY TRAITS: 

COMMON PERSONALITY TRAITS Overly conscientious People pleasing Sense of Responsibility and Guilt Unrelenting perfectionism

COMMON PERSONALITY TRAITS (con’t): 

COMMON PERSONALITY TRAITS (con’t) Need to control others Chronic self doubts Uncomfortable with love, approval Ability to delay gratification

ISSUES ARISING FROM PAST EXPERIENCES: 

ISSUES ARISING FROM PAST EXPERIENCES Establish sense of self as children Believe three main assumptions Develop “Personal Historian” Perception: We are not good enough. We do not measure up.

90:10 Rule: 

90:10 Rule

DEFENSES: 

DEFENSES Highly intellectual types used. Major causes in delay of seeking help. Make therapy more difficult. ‘Brain-Heart’ Gap

COMMON DEFENSES EMPLOYED: 

COMMON DEFENSES EMPLOYED Reaction Formation Denial Minimization Rationalization Sublimation – Work harder

SOCIAL DEMANDS ON PROFESSIONALS: 

SOCIAL DEMANDS ON PROFESSIONALS Work and Career Demands Household Responsibilities People in Our Lives Personal Needs and Wants

FIVE EARLY DANGER SIGNS: 

FIVE EARLY DANGER SIGNS Increase in physical problems and illnesses. More problems with relationships. Increase in negative thoughts and feelings. Significant increase in bad habits. Exhaustion.

BURNOUT: 

BURNOUT A syndrome of emotional exhaustion, chronic overstress. Emotional Exhaustion Depersonalization Reduced Personal Accomplishment

SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES: 

SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES Professional Problems Difficulty with Relationships Eating Disorders Anxiety Disorders Depression Suicide

DEALING WITH STRESS: 

DEALING WITH STRESS THE NUMBER ONE CAUSE OF STRESS: The perception that we have no choice, no control. THE NUMBER ONE SKILL IN DEALING WITH STRESS: Challenge your perception.

STEPS IN MANAGING STRESS: 

STEPS IN MANAGING STRESS Identify the stressor Recognize that you have more control than you think you do Identify what parts you do, and do not, control Focus on what you do control, and learn to cope with what you do not control

MAKING CHOICES: 

MAKING CHOICES recognize that you have choices focus on what you can control. set priorities - self, family, work. accept that you will not be perfect. “Good enough is good enough.” Phases – A Work in Progress

The Five Balls: 

The Five Balls The Work Ball The Home and Family Ball The Relationships Ball The Friends Ball The Self Care Ball

BALANCING AT WORK: 

BALANCING AT WORK Identify people at work who have had similar challenges in the balancing act. Office Management. Time Management. Network Management.

WORKSPACE MANAGEMENT: 

WORKSPACE MANAGEMENT Working hours, breaks, start time, stop time, days per week Type of work - vary, keep interesting Keep up with paperwork Change your environment at least once Go for walks, take stairs Personalize office or workspace

TIME MANAGEMENT: 

TIME MANAGEMENT Get organized. Prioritize things to be done. Eliminate a task. Redefine “done”. Handle each paper only once - file, toss, reply and send it right back. Set aside specific time for phone calls. Schedule. Don’t over commit.

SET PRIORITIES: 

SET PRIORITIES Delegate Include yourself and your family in your list of priorities

Slide24: 

Energy Creating vs Energy Depleting Activities. - Decide what of all that you do goes in each category. Do more of what creates energy; less of what drains you.

NETWORK MANAGEMENT: 

NETWORK MANAGEMENT Add fun to work. Use colleagues for support. Seek mentors, and reach out to them. Take “People Breaks” daily.

TEAM BUILDING: 

TEAM BUILDING Adding a Personal Touch Emotional Bank Account Communication Skills Conflict Resolution Rewards and Appreciation

For Senior Colleagues: 

For Senior Colleagues Look out for those under you Orient the new staff Recognize their anxieties and normalize them Talk about key experiences – first project to deadline, first conference away, first presentation Plan social activities, team building

Slide28: 

Ask: Do I want to do this? Am I the only one who can do this? What’s in it for me? Learn to say “No”.

TRANSITION TIME: 

TRANSITION TIME

TRANSITION TIME: 

TRANSITION TIME Stop before you start. Prepare to be home. Consciously see what is ahead. Say ‘Hello” when you arrive.

BALANCING WORK AT HOME: 

BALANCING WORK AT HOME RULE: Don’t take your work home Ask for permission Stick to what is agreed upon Give family your undivided attention

The HOME AND FAMILY Ball: 

The HOME AND FAMILY Ball

BALANCING AT HOME: 

BALANCING AT HOME Housework Children - at different stages Empty Nest Syndrome Eldercare

HOUSEWORK: 

HOUSEWORK Share BOTH the thinking and the doing. Both parents are EQUAL. Share housework equally. Consider options. Prioritize and let go.

Slide35: 

Allow kids to help from an early age. Ask clearly and directly for help. Group chores to enhance productivity. Identify and divide responsibilities.

Children: 

Children For women, having children affects your career path Whatever makes you happy will make kids happy Multiple feelings – Guilt, Worry, Anger, Sadness, Jealousy, Satisfaction

CHILDCARE: 

CHILDCARE Good childcare is crucial. Consider options. Say yes - to help. Say no - to extra demands and interference. Pool resources.

Slide38: 

Plan fun things to do together: Yes Nights, Morning Picnics, ST Exercise with the kids. Spend less time trying to make your kids perfect.

Adolescents: 

Adolescents Talk to them as if to a friend Pick the fights you want to fight Enjoy driving in the car Active listening Allow some independent choice

ELDERCARE: 

ELDERCARE Will soon be a bigger problem for most working people than childcare. Today’s adult will spend 17 years as parent of dependent child, and 18 years as child of dependent parent Great variety of needs, and distance. The elderly want help, but want to retain independence. Address the need, what is reasonable, what is affordable. Consider options.

The RELATIONSHIPS Ball: 

The RELATIONSHIPS Ball

MARRIAGE: 

MARRIAGE Working couples spend average of 12 minutes a day in private conversation Time crunch is biggest problem #1 cause of separation = loss of friendship Changes in relationship are normal; don’t just settle

THE TOP FIVESOURCES OF CONFLICT: 

THE TOP FIVE SOURCES OF CONFLICT TIME HOUSEWORK CHILDREN MONEY INTIMACY AND SEX

The FRIENDS Ball: 

The FRIENDS Ball

Friends Feed the Soul: 

Friends Feed the Soul Difference between a lonely life, and a lively life Lifeline when change jobs, get divorced, have chemotherapy Support, nurture, listen

Friends Protect our Bodies: 

Friends Protect our Bodies Woman with friends recover quicker from illness, use less meds, see MD less often U of Chicago: socially connected people with more robust hearts Carnegie Mellon U: more social=less susceptible to getting common cold UCLA Laura Klein: women respond to stress with cascade of chemicals(oxytocin, estrogen), that lead them to bond, increase oxytocin, lessens stress

The SELF CARE Ball: 

The SELF CARE Ball

SELF CARE: 

SELF CARE Take care of yourself first Make time for yourself Exercise Nutrition

Slide49: 

Healthy sex life Get your own family doctor Indulge yourself Sleep

SOLO TIME: 

SOLO TIME Take time for yourself. Find a space where you do not have to be responsible for anyone or anything. Ask for solitude; offer to partner “Investment”

TAKE REGULAR TIME OFF: 

TAKE REGULAR TIME OFF Planned : The Tarzan Rule Unplanned : A Gift of Time

USE SUPPORT SYSTEMS: 

USE SUPPORT SYSTEMS Have at least one good friend Seek out mentors Spend time with people who are “good for you” Pets

ANTICIPATE AND PREPARE FOR SITUATIONS: 

ANTICIPATE AND PREPARE FOR SITUATIONS Professionally Personally

SHARE YOUR STORIES.: 

SHARE YOUR STORIES.

LAUGH MORE OFTEN.: 

LAUGH MORE OFTEN.

RELAXATION TECHNIQUES: 

RELAXATION TECHNIQUES Many methods available Spiritual relaxation, meditation ‘Rehearse’ for the ‘performance’

REMEMBER THE 90:10 RULE: 

REMEMBER THE 90:10 RULE

SET REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS.: 

SET REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS. Acknowledge need to be perfect. Good enough is good enough.

FINANCIAL PLANNING: 

FINANCIAL PLANNING Stick to the basic financial principles first Have a clear financial goal- Avoid “Christopher Columbus” Syndrome “I can never retire”

LET GO OF THE GUILT: 

LET GO OF THE GUILT Acknowledge it; let go of it RULE OF THUMB

YEAH, SOUNDS GREAT...BUT HOW DO I INCORPORATE THISINTO MY DAILY LIFE?: 

YEAH, SOUNDS GREAT... BUT HOW DO I INCORPORATE THIS INTO MY DAILY LIFE?

DON’T JUST TRY.: 

DON’T JUST TRY.