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Close Relationships and Interpersonal Attraction: 

Close Relationships and Interpersonal Attraction

History in Social Psychology: 

History in Social Psychology relatively new -- last 30 years or so interested in studying individuals many thought it was non-scholarly work “Golden Fleece of the Year Award” theories shown to be useful in therapy

What Defines a Close Relationship?: 

What Defines a Close Relationship? different types friends romantic partners parents children siblings

What Defines a Close Relationship?: 

What Defines a Close Relationship? behavioral interdependence the actions of two people have mutual impact on each other

What Defines a Close Relationship?: 

What Defines a Close Relationship? need fulfillment the relationship must meet some basic needs emotional intimacy social integration (need for affiliation) assistance to be nurturing reassurance of our self-worth

What Defines a Close Relationship?: 

What Defines a Close Relationship? emotional attachment must be mutual feelings of love, affection, and/or admiration

What Defines a Close Relationship?: 

What Defines a Close Relationship? dimensions of variance intensity commitment emotion sexuality gender

How Do People Become Attracted?: 

How Do People Become Attracted? reward theory we like those whose behavior is rewarding or who are associated with rewarding situations

How Do People Become Attracted?: 

How Do People Become Attracted? exposure the more exposure we have to a stimulus, the more positively we evaluate it infants smiled more at repeatedly exposed faces (Brooks-Gunn & Lewis, 1981)

How Do People Become Attracted?: 

How Do People Become Attracted? exposure 4 different female research assistants 3 came to class (5, 10, or 15 times) students shown photos and asked to rate RAs intelligence, attractiveness, spend time, work together the more she came to class, the more she was liked (Moreland & Beach, 1992)

How Do People Become Attracted?: 

How Do People Become Attracted? exposure mere exposure effect repeated exposure to a stimulus produces familiarity, and familiarity breeds liking and attraction pleasant or unpleasant circumstances? too much exposure?

How Do People Become Attracted?: 

How Do People Become Attracted? proximity simple physical proximity can lead to liking

How Do People Become Attracted?: 

How Do People Become Attracted? proximity friendships of couples in student housing at MIT 65% of friends lived in the same building 44% next door, 22% two doors apart, 10% on opposite ends of the hall (Festinger, Schachter, & Back, 1950)

How Do People Become Attracted?: 

How Do People Become Attracted? proximity friendships of couples in student housing at MIT 65% of friends lived in the same building near stairwells on 1st floor reported more 2nd floor friends that other 1st floor residents proximity was best predictor of friendship (Festinger, Schachter, & Back, 1950)

How Do People Become Attracted?: 

How Do People Become Attracted? proximity asked school children who their friends were more likely friends with others whose last name is close to theirs in the alphabet Why? (Byrne & Buehler, 1955)

How Do People Become Attracted?: 

How Do People Become Attracted? proximity asked school children who their friends were more likely friends with others whose last name is close to theirs in the alphabet often children who sat nearby (alphabetically) (Byrne & Buehler, 1955)

How Do People Become Attracted?: 

How Do People Become Attracted? proximity if interactions are negative, then proximity will breed disliking condominium residents 62% of friends lived in same building cluster 70% of disliked others lived in the same cluster

How Do People Become Attracted?: 

How Do People Become Attracted? attitude similarity more attracted to people who hold similar attitudes to our own than dissimilar others e.g., 400 families -- husbands and wives agree on many issues (Schuster & Elderton, 1906)

How Do People Become Attracted?: 

How Do People Become Attracted? attitude similarity study of students in the dorms IV: paired students based on attitude similarity DV: Who were friends at the end of the year? more likely to be friends with attitudinally similar others (Newcomb, 1961)

How Do People Become Attracted?: 

How Do People Become Attracted? attitude similarity balance theory: we’re motivated to keep balance in our constellation of relationships (Heider, 1957) negative outcome = out of balance positive outcome = relationship in balance

How Do People Become Attracted?: 

How Do People Become Attracted? attitude similarity interact with grad student experimenter IV: experimenter polite or rude then saw experimenter interact with supervisor IV: supervisor was nice or critical DV: how many helped supervisor on unrelated task (Aronson & Cope, 1968)

How Do People Become Attracted?: 

How Do People Become Attracted? attitude similarity participants most likely to help: treated well and saw supervisor treat grad student well treated rudely and saw supervisor criticize grad student We like friends of our friends and our enemy’s enemy. (Aronson & Cope, 1968)

How Do People Become Attracted?: 

How Do People Become Attracted? physical attractiveness randomly matched 752 incoming students for blind dates to a dance at the U of M students’ rated partner’s physical attractiveness and desire to see their date again only physical attractiveness predicted the desire to date again (intelligence, sincerity, sensitivity) (Hatfield et al., 1966)

How Do People Become Attracted?: 

How Do People Become Attracted? physical attractiveness CW: only important for men men are more willing to admit it is important

How Do People Become Attracted?: 

How Do People Become Attracted? physical attractiveness simple aesthetic appeal what-is-beautiful-good-stereotype rewarding could be self-fulfilling prophecy (Hatfield & Sprecher, 1986)

How Do People Become Attracted?: 

How Do People Become Attracted? Is beauty in the “eye of the beholder”? matching hypothesis people tend to chose partners who are similar to them in physical attractiveness (i.e., a “good match”) same-sex friendships, dating couples, cohabitants, married couples

How Do People Become Attracted?: 

How Do People Become Attracted? Is beauty in the “eye of the beholder”?

How Do People Become Attracted?: 

How Do People Become Attracted? Is beauty in the “eye of the beholder”? matching hypothesis people tend to chose partners who are similar to them in physical attractiveness (i.e., a “good match”) same-sex friendships, dating couples, cohabitants, married couples people who don’t match on physical attractiveness may be trading other assets

How Do People Become Attracted?: 

How Do People Become Attracted? Is beauty in the “eye of the beholder”?

How Do People Become Attracted?: 

How Do People Become Attracted? evolutionary perspective we behave in ways that further the existence of our offspring for women, reproduction is more physically and time demanding for men, reproduction is much less constraining leads to different types of mate preferences

How Do People Become Attracted?: 

How Do People Become Attracted? evolutionary perspective examined men’s and women’s feelings of jealousy when victims of sexual or emotional infidelity men more upset by sexual infidelity and women by emotional infidelity (Buss et al., 1992)

How Do People Become Attracted?: 

How Do People Become Attracted? evolutionary perspective problems: difficult to tease apart emotional and sexual infidelity may be responding to normative beliefs -- issue of socialization

Types of Love: 

Types of Love What is love? liking love

Types of Love: 

Types of Love What is love? liking love

Types of Love: 

Types of Love companionate love feelings of mutual respect and trust less emotionally volatile often found in good friendships

Types of Love: 

Types of Love passionate love intense longing for the person physiological arousal much more emotionally volatile

Types of Love: 

Types of Love Sternberg’s Tripartite Theory of Love passion: motivational component intimacy: emotional component commitment: cognitive component

Types of Love: 

Types of Love Sternberg’s Tripartite Theory of Love P C I nonlove

Types of Love: 

Types of Love Sternberg’s Tripartite Theory of Love P C I liking

Types of Love: 

Types of Love Sternberg’s Tripartite Theory of Love P C I infatuation

Types of Love: 

Types of Love Sternberg’s Tripartite Theory of Love P C I empty love

Types of Love: 

Types of Love Sternberg’s Tripartite Theory of Love P C I romantic love

Types of Love: 

Types of Love Sternberg’s Tripartite Theory of Love P C I fatuous love

Types of Love: 

Types of Love Sternberg’s Tripartite Theory of Love P C I companionate love

Types of Love: 

Types of Love Sternberg’s Tripartite Theory of Love P C I consummate love

Types of Love: 

Types of Love Henrick & Henrick’s “wheel of love” Eros -- emotionally intense physical attraction

Types of Love: 

Types of Love Henrick & Henrick’s “wheel of love” Eros -- emotionally intense physical attraction Ludus -- selfish love; practiced as a game

Types of Love: 

Types of Love Henrick & Henrick’s “wheel of love” Eros -- emotionally intense physical attraction Ludus -- selfish love; practiced as a game Storge -- friendship love

Types of Love: 

Types of Love Henrick & Henrick’s “wheel of love” Eros -- emotionally intense physical attraction Ludus -- selfish love; practiced as a game Storge -- friendship love Mania -- possessive love; love is painful

Types of Love: 

Types of Love Henrick & Henrick’s “wheel of love” Eros -- emotionally intense physical attraction Ludus -- selfish love; practiced as a game Storge -- friendship love Mania -- possessive love; love is painful Pragma -- practical love

Types of Love: 

Types of Love Henrick & Henrick’s “wheel of love” Eros -- emotionally intense physical attraction Ludus -- selfish love; practiced as a game Storge -- friendship love Mania -- possessive love; love is painful Pragma -- practical love Agape -- selfless, sacrificing love

Long Term Relationships: 

Long Term Relationships stage theory (SVR) stimulus: physical attractiveness value: similarity of values and beliefs role: fulfillment of roles and commitment

Long Term Relationships: 

Long Term Relationships social exchange theory maximize benefits and minimize costs comparison level (CL) comparison level for alternatives (CLalt) outcomes (O)

Long Term Relationships: 

Long Term Relationships social exchange theory O CL, CLalt rewards happy relationship

Long Term Relationships: 

Long Term Relationships social exchange theory CLalt O CL rewards less stable but not unpleasant

Long Term Relationships: 

Long Term Relationships social exchange theory CL O CLalt rewards unpleasant, dependent relationship

Long Term Relationships: 

Long Term Relationships social exchange theory CL, Clalt O rewards unstable, unpleasant relationship

Long Term Relationships: 

Long Term Relationships investment model of relationships investments -- things expended on the relationships that cannot be recouped the more investment, the more stable

Long Term Relationships: 

Long Term Relationships investment model of relationships Rewards Costs Satisfaction Stability CL Investments Commitment to the Willingness to relationship accommodate CLalt Willingness to sacrifice (adapted from Rusbult, 1983)

Long Term Relationships: 

Long Term Relationships investment model of relationships investments were as important as satisfaction in predicting relationship commitment

Conclusion: 

Conclusion many types of close relationships that vary along many dimensions interpersonal attraction is multi-faceted, but physical attractiveness plays an important role love can vary in type and among different relationships relationship satisfaction and investment are critical to relationships stability