Top 10 weirdest Japanese video games

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Top 10 Weirdest Japanese Video Games:

Top 10 Weirdest Japanese Video Games

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10. Cho Aniki The long running Cho Aniki series is famous solely for its homoerotic overtones. The games are 2D shooters like Gradius or Galaga , except everything looks like a dick, a half-naked muscular man, or a half-naked muscular man and his dick. The boss is a giant man who’s nude save for a metal plate over his crotch that he shoots various phallic objects, including another naked man, out of. To be fair to Japan, the Cho Aniki games are supposed to be weird and campy. However, if your idea of “weird and campy” translates to “wall to wall penises” then we think it’s still reasonable to point out how insane you are. Considering the series has been active since 1992, this approach must appeal to some gamers—most likely the “confused teenage boys who get strange feelings when watching gladiator movies” demographic.

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9. Super Galdelic Hour Super Galdelic Hour is a game about four animals that transform into busty, scantily clad women, and then compete in a series of simple events designed to make them jiggle about as much as possible. It’s sort of like a game show, except it comes bundled with an incredible sense of shame. Events include playing whack-a-mole while wearing a revealing swimsuit, jumping rope while wearing a revealing swimsuit, and smacking your ass against another girl’s ass while wearing a revealing swimsuit. There’s even a shopping (while wearing a revealing swimsuit) game, just for that extra dose of sexism.

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8. I’m Sorry This arcade game is a lot like Pac-Man , if it were conceived entirely on acid. I’m Sorry stars former Japanese Prime Minister Kakuei Tanaka, and the player’s goal is to collect gold bars while dodging enemies. It’s a satirical take on Tanaka’s greed (he was involved in numerous bribery scandals). But the rest of the game isn’t satire; it’s madness. The enemies Tanaka has to avoid range from Michael Jackson, Madonna and Carl Lewis, along with a couple of Japanese celebrities. If they catch Tanaka they’ll strip him down to a diaper, change into a leather bikini, and then whip him.

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7. Toylets The “ Toylets ” project is just in the testing stage right now, with four games available in select washrooms across Japan. An LCD screen above the urinal gives you instructions, while pressure pads measure the strength of your stream. Objectives range from cleaning graffiti to making a gust of wind blow a woman’s skirt up. Ads are shown on the screen in-between games, and if you’re proud of your performance you can save your results to a USB stick and try to break your record the next time nature calls.

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6. Princess Maker Now you too can raise a little girl into a young woman, and from the comfort of your living room! Thankfully, the game’s title isn’t literal; you don’t actually “make” the girl Instead, you control eight years of her life with an iron fist, dictating everything from what she studies and where she works to what clothes she wears. Once she turns 18, your decisions effect how she’ll live the rest of her life. She might choose to become anything from a priest to a high-end prostitute to a professional dominatrix. Or, if you’re lucky, she’ll decide to marry you. Man, you know a game is weird when father/daughter incest isn’t the creepiest possible ending.

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5. Gal*Gun First person shooter games like Doom or Halo aren’t very popular in Japan, as something about the genre just doesn’t appeal to Japanese gamers. Unless, of course, you get rid of the monsters and evil aliens and replace them with love addled schoolgirls; then you’ve got a winner on your hands. Players control an average teenage boy who has somehow become the most popular guy at school for the day. This of course means that every girl within a 10 mile radius rushes blindly towards you, gushing with hormones and wanting to do God knows what to your manhood. Your only choice is to fight them off with your Pheromone Shot, which elicits plenty of erotic moaning and jiggling before the girls fall to their knees, overwhelmed by your masculinity.

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4. Love Death Sticking with the schoolgirl theme, the long running Love Death franchise (five games since 2005) takes the concept of fending off nubile teenagers and elevates it to truly disturbing levels. Half erotic game, half beating the crap out of schoolgirls with sporting good simulator, Love Death allows you to go to town on a bunch of anime girls with baseball bats, fishing poles and much more, including a, uh, “mystery liquid” that certainly isn’t suggestive in the slightest.

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3. Doki Doki Majo Shinpan! This is some sort of molestation game with school girls in it. Don’t worry though; your character isn’t some 40 year old pedophile, but rather a student who’s been ordered by an angel to purge his school of witches. How do you tell if a girl is a witch? You touch her until her heartbeat picks up, at which point, if she is a witch, you’ll see a “witch mark” emerge somewhere on her half-naked body.

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2. Facening de Hyojo Yutaka ni Insho Up: Otona no DS Sao Training Facening for Rich Expressions to Boost Impressions: Adult DS Face Training is a “game” designed to give you a prettier face through the use of various exercises. The goal is to mimic facial expressions shown to you by the game—an included camera looks at your face and grades you on how well you’re doing. The theory is if you master these “ facening ” exercises your skin will become more elastic and expressive. Our theory is that anyone who wastes money on a game where you make stupid expressions at your Nintendo DS in the vain hope of getting a nicer face through pseudoscience is an idiot.

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1. Boong - Ga , Boong - Ga Boong - Ga Boong - Ga is an arcade game about spanking. Literally: the goal is to perform spankings on the behind built into the machine. According to Wikipedia, the game is designed to simulate “ kancho , a children’s prank popular in Japan where the victim is poked with two fingers in the anal region whilst distracted.” Huh!!? The harder you spank or poke, the better you score (the latter act being done with the aid of a giant plastic finger). There are eight potential victims, ranging from the relatively tame (ex-girlfriend) to the creepy (mother-in-law) to the really creepy (child molester). If you are really good, you’ll be rewarded with a small plastic trophy in the shape of feces…

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