Acquaintance Rape: Acquaintance Rape


Slide2: What is Acquaintance Rape?


Types of Sexual Violence: Types of Sexual Violence Sexual Harassment Sexual Assault Acquaintance Rape ('Date Rape') Stranger Rape


Sexual Harassment: Sexual Harassment Unwanted verbal attention or physical contact Motivated by victim’s gender or sexual orientation Unwanted attention or contact occurs regularly and interferes with a person’s ability to work, study, or otherwise live life as s/he wishes


Sexual Assault: Sexual Assault Unwanted sexual contact, or contact without consent May not involve sexual intercourse Most commonly occurs between people who know each other Mild force or verbal coercion often is often involved


Acquaintance Rape/“Date Rape”: Acquaintance Rape/'Date Rape' Unwanted sexual intercourse or Intercourse in which the victim does not give consent Or cannot give consent (e.g. due to intoxication) Occurs between people who know each other Mild force or verbal coercion often involved Men can be victims too


Stranger Rape: Stranger Rape Same as acquaintance rape except that the victim/survivor does not know the perpetrator ¼ as common as acquaintance rape


The Facts…: The Facts… FBI statistics indicate that 1 out of 3 women and 1 out of 10 men will be sexually assaulted during their life time Rape crisis centers report that 60-80% of victims they assist have been assaulted by someone they know 9 in 10 date rapes are not reported


The Facts…: The Facts… 1 in 12 college men admit to acts that meet legal definitions of rape. Yet few of these men identify themselves as rapists. Date rapes tend to take place on the 2nd or 3rd date, since many women tend to be more on guard on 1st dates


The Facts…: The Facts… Most date rapes take place in the residence of the attacker or the victim About 75% of the men and at least 55% of the women involved in date rapes had been drinking or using drugs right before the attack


“He said/ She said…” : 'He said/ She said…' Following is an example scenario from both a woman and a man’s point of view.


“He Said…”: 'He Said…' I first met her at a party. She looked really hot, wearing a very short skirt with a tight T-shirt that showed off her great body. We started talking right away. I knew that she liked me by the way she was speaking. She seemed pretty relaxed so I asked her back to my place for a drink… when she said 'yes,' I knew that I was going to get lucky!


“…He said”: '…He said' When we got to my place, we sat on the bed kissing. At first, everything was great. Then when I started to lay her down on the bed, she started twisting and saying she didn’t want to. Most girls don’t like to appear too easy so I knew she was just going through the motions. When she stopped struggling I knew she would have to throw in some tears before we did it.


“…He said”: '…He said' She was still very upset afterwards and I just don’t understand it! If she didn’t want to have sex, why did she come back to my room with me? You could tell by the way she dressed and acted that she was no virgin, so why she had to put up such a big struggle, I don’t know…


“She said…”: 'She said…' I first met him at a party. He was really good looking and had a great smile. I wanted to meet him but wasn’t sure how. I didn’t want to appear too forward. Then he came over and introduced himself. We talked and found we had a lot in common. I really liked him. When he asked me over to his place for a drink I thought it would be OK. He was such a good listener, and I wanted him to ask me out again.


“…She said”: '…She said' When we got to his room, the only place to sit was his bed. I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea but what else could I do? We talked for a while, and then he made his move. I was so startled. He started by kissing. I really liked him so the kissing was nice. But then he pushed me down on the bed. I tried to get up and I told him to stop. He was so much bigger and stronger. I got scared and I started to cry. I froze and he raped me.


“…She said”: '…She said' It took only a couple of minutes and it was terrible, he was so rough. When it was over, he kept asking me what was wrong like he didn’t know. He had just forced himself on me and he thought that was OK. He drove me home and said he wanted to see me again. I’m afraid to see him. I never thought it would happen to me…


“He Said/She Said…”: 'He Said/She Said…' What happened??!


What happened?: What happened? He thought she wanted to have sex and that she really didn’t mean 'no.' There was alcohol involved She didn’t want to have sex but was afraid to be more assertive with him


What happened?/cont.: What happened?/cont. He fell into old stereotypes concerning women and sex No communication about intentions or limit setting by either party He had unrealistic expectations about her non-verbal behavior


Slide21: Why are college students so vulnerable?


Why are college students most vulnerable? : Why are college students most vulnerable? Men and women may be living together for the first time A lot of pressure on both sexes to perform and conform to stereotypical behaviors Men are taught to be the aggressors and to score and conquer Women taught to be more passive and coy


College students/(cont.): College students/(cont.) Both sexes may be confused about what they want sexually May feel pressure to have sex when they come to college But may not really want to and have difficulty expressing that A lot of unrealistic expectations put on a dating partner


College Students/ (cont.): College Students/ (cont.) We are not taught how to express our sexual wants and needs to the opposite sex Often results in a guessing game Alcohol/drugs alter one’s ability to make sound decisions, cloud thinking, assess risk, and increase aggression


Prevention/ Men: Prevention/ Men Listen carefully: take time to hear what the woman is saying. If you’re unsure about her intentions or getting mixed messages, ask for clarification Don’t fall into the common stereotype that when a woman says no she really means yes No means no. If a woman says no to sexual contact, believe her and stop If you don’t, this is rape.


Prevention/Men: Prevention/Men Don’t make assumptions about a woman’s behavior Don’t assume she wants to have sex because she dressed provocatively, is drunk, or agrees to go to your room Don’t assume that because a woman had sex with you before means that she wants to have sex with you again


Prevention/Men: Prevention/Men Be aware that by having sex with someone who is unable to give consent (passed out, drugged, intoxicated), you may be guilty of rape


Prevention/Men: Prevention/Men Be extra careful in group situations. Be prepared to resist pressure from friends to participate in violent or criminal acts Be extra careful in situations involving alcohol or drugs Interferes with your ability to assess a situation, clouds your thinking, and prevents you from communicating effectively


Prevention/Men: Prevention/Men Get involved If you see a woman at a party or a male friend using force or pressuring a woman, don’t be afraid to intervene You may prevent a sexual assault from happening


Prevention/ Women: Prevention/ Women Know your sexual intentions and limits. You have the right to say no to any unwanted sexual contact Tell your partner what you want and what you don’t want If you are uncertain about what you want, ask the man to respect your feelings


Prevention/ Women: Prevention/ Women Communicate these limits firmly and directly. If you say 'no,' say it like you mean it Don’t give mixed messages Back your words up with a firm tone of voice and clear body language Make sure your non-verbal messages are consistent with your verbal messages


Prevention/ Women: Prevention/ Women Don’t rely on 'ESP' to get your message across. Don’t assume your date will automatically know how you feel or will eventually get the message It is your responsibility to communicate that message


Prevention/ Women: Prevention/ Women Remember that assertive and clear communication may not always work If that’s the case, do whatever is necessary to get out of the situation Don’t be afraid to make waves


Prevention/ Women: Prevention/ Women Trust your instincts If you feel uncomfortable or think you may be at risk, leave the situation immediately and go to a safe place If you think you are being pressured into unwanted sex, you probably are


Prevention/ Women: Prevention/ Women Remember that some men may think that dressing provocatively, drinking heavily, or going to a man’s room indicates a willingness for sex Non-verbals can send strong messages Be especially careful to communicate your limits and intentions in such situations


Prevention/ Women: Prevention/ Women Attend large parties with friends you trust Agree to look out for each other Try to leave with a group, rather than with someone you don’t know very well


Prevention/ Women: Prevention/ Women If you do drink alcohol at a party, be especially careful not to put your drink down or let a stranger refill your drink The drug Rophynol is spreading across campuses nationwide and is being called the 'date rape' drug


Prevention/ Women: Prevention/ Women Again, avoid using drugs and alcohol As mentioned before, both cloud your judgment and prevent you from communicating effectively


Assistance Afterwards: Assistance Afterwards If you or someone you know is a victim of date rape or stranger rape: Immediately…


Assistance Afterwards/Get Help: Assistance Afterwards/Get Help Go to a safe place Call someone you trust to be with you If on campus, call your RA and campus security You can also call a rape crisis hotline– WOAR Most of all you need to get help.


Assistance Afterwards/ Medical Attention: Assistance Afterwards/ Medical Attention You should immediately get medical assistance Campus security will transport you to Thomas Jefferson Hospital which is designated to provide special services for rape victims.


Assistance Afterwards/ Pressing Charges: Assistance Afterwards/ Pressing Charges If you contact the police, they will interview you, transport you to Jefferson, and attempt to apprehend the assailant if you choose to press charges.


Assistance Afterwards/ Pressing Charges: Assistance Afterwards/ Pressing Charges You don’t have to press charges immediately, ever. But is useful to report the assault and gather evidence, in case you change your mind later. Don’t shower or bathe after the attack and keep any physical evidence, such as clothing.


Assistance Afterwards/ The University: Assistance Afterwards/ The University The University will also pursue disciplinary action taking into account the victim’s wishes. For a full explanation of the university’s policy, read your student handbook.


Assistance Afterwards/Emotionally: Assistance Afterwards/Emotionally You may feel: Fearful for your safety Shock and disbelief The need to blame yourself Wanting to forget it happened Guilty/ashamed


Assistance Afterwards/Emotionally: Assistance Afterwards/Emotionally The aftermath of a sexual assault can be extremely difficult. Talking to a counselor can help you understand your feelings. Remember it’s not your fault and you don’t have to go through this alone!


Where to Go for Help/Counseling: Where to Go for Help/Counseling For Emotional Support/Crisis Counseling Drexel University Counseling Center– 895-1415 Women Organized Against Rape- 985-3333 (24 hrs.)


Where to Go for Help/ Medical: Where to Go for Help/ Medical For Medical Assistance contact: Thomas Jefferson Hospital (a hospital designated to provide special services for rape victims within the first 72 hours of the assault)– 955-6541


Where to Go for Help/ Medical: Where to Go for Help/ Medical For Medical Assistance contact: After 72 hrs., you may go to the Drexel Student Health Center for pregnancy and STD testing 955-6541


Where to Go for Help/ Legal: Where to Go for Help/ Legal For Legal Assistance contact: Campus Security (Emergency #895-2222) Local Philadelphia Police (Emergency #911)